AWeep Not For The Memory

by Seven


Disclaimer:  Earth: Final Conflict and its characters are copyrighted by Tribune Entertainment Company.  All rights reserved.



Note from Author:      A sequel to "I Will Remember You"



**********



Susan Armstrong looked over the letter for the thousandth time, in her dimly-lit office. Her neat desk was marred by one out-of-place object: a picture frame, showing a photo of a smiling Liam Kincaid.

Susan's eyes scrolled over the letter: The scientists of the mothership request that we have the pleasure of your presence on the mothership to continue your predecessor's work, blah blah blah... It was, she thought, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Working on the mothership, seeing the famous Zo'or and...

And maybe Liam.

She glanced at the photo again, her mind flashing back to the brief, few days that he had been there. He had been like a ray of sunlight into her sterile life, without husband, lover, children... even her family was strange around her. Liam, she thought, had been sweet and eager, childlike. She hadn't realized how much she had loved him until he had regained his memories and left.

And perhaps the most painful part of it was, he hadn't remembered her at all.

----

Liam looked off to the side as the blond scientist entered the lab. He smiled charmingly as he recognized her. "Hello, Doctor Armstrong."

Susan looked at him and began to speak, but she couldn't articulate the words for a moment. "Hello, Major Kincaid," she said brightly. "I hope you haven't had any more trouble of the memory variety."

Liam shook his head. "I'm fine, thanks."

Susan nodded and handed her global to Li'al, the Taelon doctor on duty. The Taelon began to converse with her, quietly. But engrossing as the conversation was, Susan couldn't help noticing Liam slipping out the back.

----

"And your progress?" Zo'or asked, swiveling his chair to look at Susan.

Susan held up her global, memory patterns lacing the small screen. "We could, in fact, do more than memory suppression. We could erase certain memories from the minds of humans. Such as victims of accidents, abuse..."

*Or erasing the minds of soldiers, except for their military training,* Liam thought darkly. *Zo'or isn't doing this for abuse victims. I have to tell Miss Armstrong.*

Zo'or smiled, pleased. "I am impressed by your progress, Doctor. I will look forward to seeing the final results."

Susan half-smiled and nodded. "I'll do my best not to disappoint you." She bowed a little and left. Liam glanced at Da'an, who nodded, then jogged out the door after Susan.

----

*There,* Susan thought. *I'm over him... he didn't even look at me... I'm over... oh, I'm not over him... oh, Liam...*

"Susan!" Liam called out, running after her. She stopped and turned to look at him, her heartrate accelerating. "Yes?" she asked quaveringly.

Liam sighed. "Look, you need to know something about Zo'or. He is not doing this out of the goodness of his heart... fact is, he doesn't have one. Not that I've noticed. Anyway, this technique will be used on human soldiers in warfare. They'd be unfeeling killing machines, without the memory of anything except pain, killing, fighting."

Susan shook her head. "I didn't negotiate this, Lia... Major Kincaid. My predecessor died of a heart attack. I'm just finishing up his work."

Liam shook his head. "Doctor, listen to me."

Doctor. Why did she keep expecting him to say, "Susan"?

"You don't want the deaths and the souls of so many people on your hands. Could you live with yourself if you did that?" he asked.

Susan felt tears well up in her eyes. She could barely answer, "I've lived with things far more painful." Then she turned on her heel and left him alone.

----

The Volunteer on the table was about seventeen, tall and lanky, with a shock of pale blond hair cropped close to his skull. He was the first to undergo treatment, having been an abused child before he had run away to seek a life among the Volunteers.

Susan and Li'al were running the final scans. In the room off to the side, behind a virtual glass window, Zo'or and Da'an, Liam and Sandoval were watching. Only Da'an noticed the tightening of Liam's jaw and forehead. "Liam," he whispered. "What is wrong?"

Liam sighed. "Susan Armstrong doesn't know or doesn't care what her technique will be used for."

"War?" Da'an asked.

"Right. You take away a soldier's memories of family, friends, a home other than the one he's been given in return for his skills, and you get loyalty," Liam said. "Susan doesn't seem to realize that."

Li'al put down his instruments, and Susan pulled off her medical smock. "It's done," she called through the virtual glass barrier. Zo'or rose with a satisfied smile, and Sandoval followed him into the operating room.

The Volunteer sat bolt upright, looking at Zo'or and Sandoval closely. Sandoval barked, "Volunteer, what is your name?"

"Volunteer Michael Thomas, sir!" Thomas said, getting off the operating table.

"Your position?"

"Second-in-command of Squad Beta-7."

"Your father's name?"

Thomas went blank for a moment. "I don't remember, sir... But the Taelons," he added confidently, "have always given me the best of care, sir!"

Zo'or smiled, satisfied, and looked over at Susan. "You have done very well, Doctor."

Susan smiled thinly and nodded. She had gone, Liam saw with a shock, pale as a sheet. He hadn't known a human being could look like that and not pass out. She abruptly turned and left the operating. Liam followed her.

Susan stalked down the corridor, feeling a painful burning inside her chest. How could she have been so stupid? How could she have disbelieved Liam? One of the things that had attracted her to him had been his unbiased point of view.

"Susan!" called Liam's voice. She turned to look at him, and almost fainted at the look of calm caring in his green eyes.

"Liam," she choked. "You were right. That man wasn't being cleansed of his memories of abuse, it was EVERYTHING... everything that didn't help the Taelons..." She began to cry, despite herself. What had she done?

Liam gently hugged her, but she pushed him away. "You don't remember," she whispered. "You don't remember... any of it."

Liam looked totally bewildered now. Susan turned on her heel and walked away, hating herself for her weakness.... and unable to hate him for not remembering.

----

The Volunteer, Michael Thomas, was making Sandoval more and more nervous. The memory-erasure had left the man with strong aggression. Without memories of control and consequences, his strong inborn feelings and instincts were taking hold.

Liam and Susan entered the room as Thomas began to hammer his fists against the wall, growling to himself. Sandoval glanced at Susan, who looked shocked. "Doctor, was this a predicted side-effect?" he asked sharply.

Susan shook her head, pressing one hand to her lips. "No... no..."

Sandoval's jaw worked in anger. "I'm going to inform Zo'or that Project Memory Alpha is a flop," he snapped, striding out the door.

Suddenly the Volunteer turned around and glared at Susan. "You did this..." he gasped, sweat lacing his features. With a savage growl, he jumped across the table at her. Liam blocked him, but the Volunteer threw him with almost superhuman strength into the wall.

And a skrill blast hit his back. Thomas sank to the floor, looking shocked. Sandoval slowly lowered his arm, then nodded to Susan. "I'll get help."

Susan nodded, looking shell-shocked. Then she ran to where Liam was lying, crumpled, on the floor and cradled his head in her lap. She remembered in a flash when she had found him on the edge of the woods. She began to cry as she rocked him back and forth, like a child.

Liam's eyes fluttered open as Lili and Sandoval ran back in. "Oh gosh!" Lili exclaimed. "Liam, are you all right?"

"Susan?" Liam whispered. For one brief, horrible moment, Susan hoped desperately that Liam's amnesia had been brought back, that he would remember only her. But then he sat up and said, "Lili, I'm fine. But Thomas..."

"He's dead," Sandoval said flatly. "Memory Alpha is over."

----

Susan looked out the mothership's window at the beautiful sphere of the Earth. She heard footsteps behind her. "Susan," Liam said softly. Her heart skipped a beat.

"Yes?" she asked.

"I... remember everything... how we went for a walk, how you kissed me..." Liam whispered. "I realize... that you love me..."

Susan bowed her head. "Then why do you look so unhappy?"

Liam shook his head. "Because... I loved you. But it didn't last... it's like the feelings of another person inserted into your own. The Liam Kincaid you knew... is not the Liam Kincaid who exists now."

Susan smiled a little. "Perhaps he is. When you were at the compound, you acted... very much as you do here, only you have more responsibility here."

Liam shook his head. "Acted, perhaps. But my feelings are very different from what I felt then. I'm sorry... more sorry than you can ever know."

Susan tilted her head to the side. "It was always a chimera," she whispered.

"What?" Liam asked, alarmed.

"A chimera. An impossible dream," Susan said softly. "I'm reconciled that... you and I are not meant for each other. Even though I still do, and perhaps always will, love you."

Liam only watched her for a moment, until the doors to the room opened and Sandoval entered. "Doctor," he stated. "The shuttle is ready to take you back to the Institute."

Susan nodded. "I'll be there in a minute." As Sandoval took the hint and left, she leaned forward and whispered, "Even if you can't love me... promise you'll never forget me."

Liam smiled. "I promise."

Susan smiled back at him, a mixture of sadness and happiness shining in her eyes. She slipped out, leaving Liam to wonder....