Flashing Back

by Seven


Disclaimer:  Earth: Final Conflict and its characters are copyrighted by Tribune Entertainment Company.  All rights reserved.



Note from Author:      This is a sort of follow-up to "Darkness." It employs the same sort of flashback imagery.



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It had been almost fifteen years. And still Lili didn't feel like she was strong enough to go back.

She stared out the subway window at the flashing lights in the darkness. Abruptly the train was above ground, shrouded in gray mist and rain. And miles and miles of small houses, in various pastel shades. Just like fifteen years ago.

Lili came into the house after hearing the shot. Her heart pounded as she ran up the stairs, terrified that somehow her brother had gotten ahold of the gun and had injured himself. She swung the door open.

Lili drifted to the house. The door was unlocked, and the faint smell of cigarette smell still hung. It smelled a little different than when she had lived there, when she had just watched her father sit there and puff. Like a blasted chimney, she thought disgustedly.

Lili slowly walked up the stairs... and opened the door.

She screamed when she saw him, sprawled lifeless on the desk. His dark brown hair was matted with wet blood, from a huge bullet hole just behind his eye. Their father's pistol was lying on the floor, his limp hand dangling just a few inches above it.

She screamed and screamed as if she couldn't stop...

Lili felt herself begin to shake. The dark wooden desk was gone, had been ever since they moved, but another one, painted white. It was in the exact same space as before, she was certain. There was no way that she could forget it.

Feeling like a robot with rusted knees, she forced herself to walk across the room, as if iron weights were tied to her ankles. She sat down before the desk, hot tears streaming down her cheeks.

She ran out, shrieking unintelligibly, sobbing his name over and over again. Her mother had caught her and asked her what had happened. "Shot... shot... killed..." was all she was able to stammer through her horror and grief.

Lili drifted to the window and stared out. The trees were grown up now... just like her. She had longed for them to get bigger, so she and her brother could build a treehouse, where they could play... and though neither of them had said it outright, they had both longed for a place outside of their father's domain.

There was no treehouse, just as there was no future for him. Only anger in her heart, and finally forgiveness, for her father.

He had just stared at her brother. Lili had managed to calm herself, but she was still crying, still sobbing without control. Her mother was crying too, softly, quietly.

But he just stared. Just glared at the dead body, as if the suicide had somehow offended him. Then he had walked away. Just walked away from his son, his wife... and Lili.

Lili gave the desk one last caress with her fingers, the white wood dotted with tears. Why couldn't things have been different? she screamed inside. Why couldn't he have lived?

The only answer was a sweep of the wind into the room, tossing her tears from her cheeks and eyes.