ichyou2

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I Choose You-Part Two

by Cache

Disclaimer: Earth: Final Conflict and its characters are copyrighted by Tribune Entertainment Company. All rights reserved.

Rating: R

**********

Moondance stood silently, watching the ring of mages before him. So far all was well, the energy line had not put up much resistance to being diverted. The entire thing was proving to be, amazingly and surprisingly, relatively easy.

Still, he wished to be in the circle with Starwind. He preferred to work with him rather than watch. But Starwind had insisted they needed him more to observe as a Healer than participate as a Mage. He'd worried when Brightwind had come down sick-there would be no one to anchor Starwind. Thankfully Yfandes had agreed to join them. He had faith in her powers and trusted her to watch out for Starwind. How could he not trust her? She'd cared for dear Vanyel so many times…

Moondance broke from his thoughts as Starwind flinched. Something was wrong… He resisted the urge to reach out to Starwind with his mind. The last thing the mage needed was to be distracted. Starwind flinched again, this time half the mages in the inner circle doing the same. Yfandes shuddered in response, striking the ground with a foreleg. Moondance extended his Othersight over the scene to view the 'hidden' energy lines, and was surprised at what he found.

The line which had been so quiet and easy to work with had begun to flare slightly. Small waves of raw energy were working their way intermittently down the stream. The result was a line that resisted anything they tried to do with it, pulling against their control.

Moondance gasped as he Saw a huge surge traveling down the line. Perhaps Vanyel would have been able to handle it, though not in his current condition, but none of the present k'Treva mages would. He thought to yell a warning to Starwind, but it was pointless, he would have already realized the danger. Turning back to the group, it was obvious Moondance was correct. Starwind and Yfandes had already built a strong shield wall around them, designed to absorb the energy and drive it into the ground. The other mage teams were busy doing the same.

The energy surge hit with a flash blinding to his Othersight, as what energy wasn't absorbed by the shields was bounced off. Moondance exhaled sharply in relief; all the shields had held. They would be able to control this. Suddenly the line…exploded, shattering into a thousand pieces. What the… Moondance didn't finish the thought as he instinctively threw up his own defensive shields, realizing the 'shards' of energy were 'looking' for a way to ground-and they would go through any unshielded route to do so.

While his normal sight saw nothing wrong, his Othersight watched the 'pieces' of energy converge, forming a long, pulsating tendril feed by raw node energy drawn from the Heartstone. Small, fiery-red 'strings' stretched from the main wild line, searching…

Moondance focused himself, forcing his mind off the node extension. His shields would hold. To all outward appearances, nothing seemed wrong with the scene. It would take another Tayledras to see though the controlled expressions on the mages' faces. He knew they were conferring on what to do about the problem. The others standing with him were focused intently on the group around the Hearthstone, missing nothing that went on inside. Moondance glanced to Sandoval next to him. Sandoval?! He'd forgotten…

The energy flared at brilliant white as it discovered Sandoval-completely unshielded. Sandoval cried out, collapsing to the ground, as Moondance knew the energies surged through his body. At the last moments, the line seemed to divide, part of it diverting in another direction. Starwind? It would be like the mage to take the energy on himself, sparing any others.

:No, ashke, I am fine,: Starwind said in his mind, responding to his fear. He felt Starwind pull away and in a second the stream of energy was cut off. Moondance knelt immediately at Sandoval's side. The man lay on the ground, unconscious, his face twisted in pain. Moondance dropped his shields, placing a hand on Sandoval's forehead, his pale skin burning beneath his cool touch.

"How is he?" Starwind asked, leaning heavily on Moondance's shoulder.

"I don't know yet, not well…" He looked up at Starwind, who was exhausted. "You look awful. I can help…"

"You can spare nothing," Starwind insisted. "You will need it all for him."

Moondance nodded, opening his mind to Sandoval's. Very slowly and carefully he worked his way past the pain… "Shethka!" he exclaimed, quickly closing the connection with Sandoval. "Ah, ashke," he looked up to Starwind. "How am I so cursed as to see two of these in my lifetime?"

:Show me,: Starwind said softly, offering his mental link. Moondance took it, guiding him back down the line he'd formed with Sandoval. He was not mistaken, several of Sandoval's channels had been ripped-blasted-wide open. Mindspeech, both Thought-Sensing and Projection. Empathy. Healing. The pathways were raw and fully active. He had no clue how to shield his mind from the thoughts and emotions of everyone in the Vale, nor did he know how to shield his own from them… They increased his pain, adding to the torn channels and the already serious backlash he would be suffering from the sudden surge of energy.

"He's Broadsending," Starwind said, pulling back from Sandoval's mind. "You'll have to sedate him…"

"I won't," Moondance protested.

"You will," Starwind insisted, meeting his eyes. "For the Vale's well-being, if not for his own. He'll continue to broadcast his pain, even in sleep. None of us are strong enough to completely shield him, he is too sensitive for that. And you know how hard it is to shield raw powers…" He paused. "It is for the best, ke'chara. I will get Vanyel…"

***

"Vanyel."

"Go away, 'Fandes," Vanyel mumbled, shoving his head under the pillow. She'd kept him up half the night-wasn't that enough?

"Vanyel," the voice said again. It didn't sound like Yfandes…

Slowly he opened his eyes. "Starwind?" he asked. The Tayledras looked tired-exhausted-and drained. The lay line…?! Vanyel was instantly awake. "What happened?"

"There was an accident…"

"Moondance?" He sat up, suddenly panicking.

"No, Moondance is well. But Sandoval…" Starwind stopped for a moment, meeting Vanyel's eyes. "Get dressed. I will explain and take you to him."

Vanyel dressed as quickly as possible, listening to Starwind's account of the incident. "You sent node energy through him?!" he exclaimed.

"It wasn't as if we did it on purpose. He was unshielded and the line found him."

Vanyel shook his head. Sandoval was lucky to be alive…

:Yes, he is. But it came at a price,: 'Fandes' voice entered his mind. Obviously she'd been listening… :Whitestar's shields failed at the last moment and the line divided, part of it grounding through him.: She paused. :He didn't make it…:

:Does Starwind know yet?: Vanyel asked.

:Not yet. And you don't need to be the one to tell him.:

"Vanyel?" Starwind asked, curiously.

"I'm sorry… 'Fandes…"

Starwind nodded knowingly. "He needs your help. The energy blasted open several of his channels…"

Vanyel shuddered, not hearing the rest of Starwind's comment. Memories flooded his mind. The pain… The darkness… The fear… He was trapped and couldn't escape, trapped in a nightmare that seemed to have no end. So alone…so afraid…bound in endless pain. His breath caught in his throat as an image was brought to the forefront of his thoughts. Tylendel… With great effort, Vanyel forced the memory from his mind. There wasn't time… Silently, he followed Starwind from the room.

Most every one had left the Heartstone by the time they arrived. Vanyel knew that Whitestar's body would have been removed from the area immediately-the majority of the mages would have gone with him. A couple had remained, however, and stood watching Moondance in his work.

Moondance knelt on the ground next to Sandoval, one hand laid upon the man's forehead. His eyes were closed and his face drawn tight in concentration. Yfandes stood immediately behind him, her nose lightly brushing his shoulder, obviously lending him what assistance she could.

Without a word, he crossed the field, kneeling at Moondance's side. Only then did he allow himself to look at Sandoval. He had gone deathly pale, a stark contrast to his dark hair and the dark blue robe he wore. He was limp and completely unconscious, his eyes rolled back under half-opened lids. The only thing which showed he was alive was the sound of his shallow breathing. Very gently, Vanyel took his hand, feeling the fever which raged through his body.

"This doesn't look good, Vanyel. Even the slightest touch hurts him." Moondance opened his eyes slowly. "Yfandes was telling me how fond you are of him."

Vanyel nodded. "Could I…?" He didn't need to finish his request-Moondance knew exactly what he was asking.

"Of course," Moondance answered. "I've sedated him so it shouldn't cause him much pain."

Vanyel caught the accusing look Moondance gave Starwind. If Moondance had sedated him, it had to have been at Starwind's insistence. The Healer considered sedatives a last resort, reserved for those he could not form a link with to induce sleep. Focusing, Vanyel carefully followed the line Moondance had established. He gasped in shock as he discovered the open channels. It was amazing Sandoval wasn't mad with pain. Each channel was like an open wound, one more difficult to heal than most. Vanyel paused, realizing he was in the same position his Aunt Savil had been in so many years ago. And Sandoval was in his… No one should have to experience that…

"We should move him," Vanyel said, turning his full attention back to Moondance.

"I agree," Moondance nodded. "We'll…"

A sharp chirp interrupted the Tayledras. Vanyel looked around for the source, spotting a gyrefalcon standing on the other side of Sandoval. He'd noticed the bird when he'd come up, but hadn't paid much attention to it until now. It wasn't any bird he recognized… "Who's that?"

"Serous," Starwind replied. "He's one of the unbonded birds of the Vale."

"Well, perhaps we can get him out of here." Vanyel reached across Sandoval attempting to shoo the bird away. "Go on, get back."

I the bird strongly Mindsent to him, snapping viciously at Vanyel's fingers. :Serous stay here with Dark One. Good match. Good.: The falcon ruffled his feathers and stared directly at Vanyel as if to enforce his decision to stay.

Vanyel looked to Starwind and Moondance. One glance was all that was needed to realize each of them had heard Serous' remark-the surprise on Vanyel's face was mirrored on theirs.

"It seems Serous is no longer unbonded," Moondance said simply, after several moments of silence.

Yfandes snorted, moving to fix the bird in her sapphire gaze. :I care not who you think you're bonded to, stupid bird,: she Sent, very clearly and forcefully. :You may stay. But if you ever try to bit my Chosen again…: She didn't finish the threat, but she didn't have to-Serous obviously understood just exactly what she meant.

***

"I've done the best I can for him," Moondance said, collapsing into the chair next to Vanyel.

Vanyel glanced quickly at Sandoval's unconscious form on the bed. "Is he going to be okay?" he asked, looking back to Moondance. The Healer was nearly as pale as Sandoval himself and was completely exhausted.

"I don't know." Moondance shook his head slightly. "He's stable, for the time being, and I've managed to establish a link with him… But he's hurt, Van, so very hurt…"

"You’ve drained yourself," Vanyel said softly. He'd only just realized what this was costing Moondance.

"I'm all right," Moondance tried to reassure him. "It's my fault, you know."

"What?" Vanyel asked, surprised. Moondance's fault? How?

"Their shields were going to hold," Moondance explained. "They would have been able to control it, as long as it stayed contained. But… I'd seen him come up, I should have extended my shields to include him. By the time I realized he was unshielded, it was too late. I should have been faster…" Moondance closed his eyes and Vanyel knew he was reliving the recent events, trying to figure out what he could have done to prevent this.

"It wasn't your fault, Moondance. You weren't responsible for any of this…" he stopped. Moondance wasn't listening to a word he said.

:'Fandes,: he greeted her in his mind. :How's Starwind?:

:Taking Whitestar's death hard. He needs Moondance as much as Moondance needs him.: She hesitated slightly, seeming to think for a moment. :Do not worry about them. They're merely tired and shaken from this morning's events. If you're allowed to have the afternoon and evening together alone they'll be fine tomorrow. Besides, you have enough to worry about with Sandoval…:

:I can't… 'Fandes, I don't know what to do for him,: Vanyel protested.

:He needs someone who understands and is willing to help him through this. You, above all others, know what he's going through. And you care about him. That, right now, is what he needs most. In addition, someone is going to have to teach him to use his Gifts…:

Vanyel sighed silently-never argue with a Companion… :I'm sending Da'an with Starwind, they should be there shortly. I've tried to explain to him what happened,: Yfandes continued. :This is a mess, ashke-a mess…:

Vanyel nodded in agreement, breaking off his conversation with Yfandes. "Are you okay, Moondance?" he asked, concerned.

"No," he replied truthfully. Vanyel smiled to himself. That would teach him to ask… "But I shall be. I only need some time to think and rest. I will be well, do not worry." Moondance met his eyes. "Starwind will see to that."

"I shall see to what?" Starwind asked, entering the building, Da'an immediately behind him. Vanyel turned to them. Starwind was also visibly exhausted, drained by the recent events. The older Tayledras' eyes fell on Sandoval and were immediately filled with sadness. Vanyel shook his head; he still hadn't gotten used to losing people, and he had spent plenty of time on the front lines. But Starwind…he hardly left the Vale, let alone the Pelagiris forest.

"…I agree. Shall we?" Starwind asked, and Vanyel realized that the conversation had been continued without him.

"Go," he insisted. "I'll watch over him and come get you if you're needed."

"Thank you," Moondance sighed, then smiled at him knowingly. "Yfandes and I had a long conversation. She assured me you'd take care of him. Seems she was right…"

"Be careful, dear Vanyel," Starwind warned. "He is not your kind, and you have no idea how he will react to such concepts. Do not let yourself be hurt by him-few here are in the business of healing hearts."

Vanyel nodded in response and watched the two leave the room. When they were gone, he let his attention fall on Da'an. "I…" he hesitated, not sure what to say. "I'm sorry."

Da'an stopped him with a delicate hand gesture. "Do not. It is done, and nothing can change that. No one is at fault. Please…"

"Thank you," Vanyel said, relieved. Though the accident was truly no one's fault, he was not sure he would be as forgiving as the Companion.

Serous chirped, drawing their attention to him. :Dark One be okay?: he Mindsent to both of them, worried.

:I hope so,: Vanyel Sent back to him. :Shhhh… I must talk to Da'an.: He walked over to the perch the bird sat on, scratching the side of his neck.

:Serous, quiet. Quiet. Let stay,: he said, almost frantic.

:Of course I'll let you stay.:

:Good. Quiet, so you help Dark One.:

Vanyel smiled. Serous' determination was refreshing. How could he explain to the bird that his 'Dark One' was seriously hurt and may not recover? :I'll do the best I can, Serous. He's hurt, very hurt…mind hurt.:

The gyrefalcon pulled away from Vanyel's touch, looking intently at Sandoval. :Serous understand.: Vanyel nodded, turning from the bird. He did understand-all too well.

"I'm sorry. Serous…" Vanyel started to explain to Da'an.

"It is all right. Please, tell me about Agent Sandoval's condition." Da'an went to Sandoval's side, gently placing a hand on his forehead.

Vanyel hesitated. He should tell Da'an the truth, but… It was obvious the Companion cared for the man. Telling him would only make him worry… "He needs a couple days rest, but he should be okay."

Da'an turned abruptly, glaring at him from the corners of his eyes. "You would lie to me about such a thing?"

Flinching at the accusations, Vanyel turned away from Da'an's gaze. He'd forgotten, Da'an was experienced in Mindspeech. He hadn't bothered to block his conversation with Serous-Da'an would have heard the entire thing. This was not going well. "He's suffering from severe backlash due to the energy that was channeled through him." Vanyel paused, meeting Da'an's eyes again. "The surge also ripped open some of the channels in his mind-Empathy, Mindspeech, and Healing. It's a lot to deal with. There's a chance he might not make it."

Da'an tilted his head, turning a lighter shade of blue. "I thank you for you honesty. I would like some time alone with him…" Vanyel nodded, turning and leaving the room.

***

Lili picked up a piece of fruit from the table, examining it closely. Yet another kind she hadn't seen before. Surprising, with all the fruit that had been laid out on the table she'd expected to be able to recognize at least some of it. Laying it back down, she wondered how long it would be before she never wanted to see another piece of fruit again.

"Lili?"

She jumped at the sound of her name, turning to face the door. Two people stepped into the room. There was a small compact woman, the same on who had spoken to Vanyel the other day-Sundance. The other was a male. Slightly taller than herself, he was slender but muscular. Long black hair cascaded over his shoulders, a stark contrast to the silver which seemed to abound.

"Lili," Sundance said again. She looked hesitantly to the man with her. "This is Sunlark. He's a kestra'chern."

Lili stared at her blankly. A what? Did Sundance really expect her to know what that meant? "I'm sorry… I don't understand."

"Don’t worry. It is not important at the moment," Sunlark said softly, perching on the edge of one of the beds. He nodded to Sundance to continue.

"There was an accident…" she started. "Sandoval was injured."

Lili met Sundance's eyes, concerned. "Is he okay?"

"He's with Moondance," she said. "There is no one better to help him."

"Does Da'an know?" Lili asked.

"Yes. He has gone to see him."

Lili sighed, absentmindedly rearranging the fruit on the table. "Thank you for telling me."

Sundance paused, studying her. "I am sorry to have brought bad news. It's just… I had thought you would be more concerned."

"I am concerned," she countered defensively, "but…" She looked up at Sundance, instinctively realizing what the scout meant. "I… No… We're not…" she stuttered. "We work together." Lili glanced to Sunlark hoping to see comprehension in his eyes. Her and Sandoval? No…

Sunlark smiled mischievously, a playful glint in his eyes. "Perhaps," he looked to Sundance, "you are more to her liking."

Lili stopped, stunned. Panicked, she looked quickly to Sundance then back to Sunlark.

"I think I would rather braid feathers into her hair than into yours," Sundance replied, not missing a beat.

Sunlark feigned a hurt look, then his expression changed completely. "Your loss, not mine." He turned to Lili, a look of pity in his eye. "Do not be alarmed; no one will be braiding feathers into anyone's hair. I'm sorry. It was a joke that was taken too far. I did not mean to make you uncomfortable."

Lili looked at him warily, unsure whether to believe him or not. She trusted him instinctively, something she was not prone to do-not after the SI war… But he projected an air of competence and kindness that she was unable to deny. She shook her head slightly. "I don't understand any of this…"

Sunlark smiled sadly. "I am afraid that is in part my fault. While Starwind has done the best he is able, I would not expect anyone here to know how to handle such a situation. Had I been her when you arrived, perhaps I would have been able to help the three of you adjust more easily. But, as it is, I was away at k'Sheyna."

He paused as if waiting for Lili to say something. When she didn't, he continued. "It must be quite a culture shock for you-to be thrown here so suddenly. I can only imagine how different our world is from yours…"

Lili scoffed. "You're telling me…"

Sunlark smiled. "Then we shall start from the beginning. As Sundance has said, I am a kestra'chern. A position I believe, from the little I know, is comparable to your psychologist."

Lili rolled her eyes. "Great. Just what I need."

"I think perhaps you do, as evident from your earlier reaction. The comment was said in jest, it was not meant to offend. It is obvious that this society is much more open and forward about such things than yours is." Sunlark turned to Sundance. "Please, leave us to speak in private." Sundance nodded, quickly leaving the room.

Lili looked nervously to Sunlark. He continued to sit on the edge of the bed, looking at her expectantly-waiting for her to speak first. He seemed all too at ease in the silence which drug awkwardly on. Lili shifted in her chair, resisting the urge to get up and pace the room.

"I am not sure how I would handle knowing I might never see my home again," he said finally, breaking the silence. "There would be so many people, so many things I would miss…"

Lili hesitated, unsure of how much to tell him, how much to remember… "There's not much for me to miss." She shook her head.

"Is there no one you care for?" Sunlark prodded her.

"Every one I care for seems to die-Boone, my father…" Lili wiped away the tear that threatened to fall. "And Augur and Joshua never worked out…" She met Sunlark's eyes, turning away quickly, slightly embarrassed. "I don't have a clue why I'm telling you this. You don't know…"

"I think I may surprise you with how much I am truly able to understand."

"Boone was a friend, a very close friend. I lost him unexpectedly several months ago." She paused, thinking. "I never really knew my father; he kept a lot of secrets from me. He died before I really got a chance to ever speak to him."

"The others are romantic interests?" Sunlark asked. She nodded in response. "And what of Da'an?"

"What do you mean?" she replied.

"There is…something between the two of you. I have yet to witness it, but the others have told me of it-they are not often wrong."

"Da'an and I are…close. Or we were. Since Boone died we haven't had much time together. But… There was a time when Da'an and I 'shared.' He allowed me to experience his feelings, thoughts, sensations… I know it sounds stupid…"

"On the contrary, we too have such bondings," Sunlark supplied.

"Really?" she asked, surprised and still skeptical.

"It is not something I would lie about," he assured her. "You care for him greatly."

"Yes, I do." She bowed her head, avoiding Sunlark's gaze. How could he know so much about how she felt? There was meaning beyond his words-an understanding that need not be spoken between them.

"I believe we have spoken enough for one day," Sunlark said, after allowing her a few moments to think. He stood, going to the door. "If you require me, you need only ask. Any person in the Vale will know where to find me…" Without another word, he turned and was gone.

***

Darkness. Flying…falling through the black which surrounded him. It swirled around him-engulfing him, choking him… The coldness seeped to his bones-not easing the fire that burned in his body, but increasing its intensity.

Voices, thoughts, and feelings forced their way into his mind, finding him in the darkness. No… There were too many… And they brought with them an unbearable pain. So many others-uninvited…yet he was alone…so alone…

:Not quite alone, dear Sandoval. Never alone…: a soft, gentle voice filled his mind.

Sandoval flinched away from the voice, expecting pain to follow. It did not. He frantically tried to see through the darkness, to identify who the voice belonged to.

:Gently,: the voice said again. :You are far from well. A beautiful ebony raven with a broken wing-healing can only come in time. I cannot take the pain away, but I can show you how to stem the flood which threatens to sweep you away. It is under your command, you must learn to control it…:

Sandoval felt a force pulling on him-leading…guiding him. He panicked, trying to escape it. :Easy,: the voice said reassuringly. :I will not hurt you. Please…: Unable to resist any longer, he allowed himself to be drawn deeper into the darkness.

:Here.: The pulling stopped. :This is your center. And now to ground…: The voice swept over him, directing his thoughts and actions. He allowed it to do as it wished, too tired and weak to insist otherwise. :There,: the voice filled his mind once again, releasing its hold on him.

Free, he found a balance unlike anything he had ever felt before. Elsewhere, chaos reigned; but here… Until now he had not known such a thing existed, nor that he had longed for it… He knew he would never lose this place again.

:You learn quickly,: the voice noted, pleased. :Now…a barrier. Dense and it will keep all out. You may change it at your will-you must control it.: Sandoval watched as it built a network around him, blocking out every thought, voice, and feeling save his own. Carefully, he tried to do the same, taking down the shield layer by layer and building it back up.

:A long road lies ahead of you, Sandoval. But remember you are never alone. I shall help you through this-one step at a time…:

Sandoval allowed himself to fall into a deep, dreamless sleep. A true sleep.

***

Very carefully, Vanyel pulled back from Sandoval's mind. All his senses once again centered on the physical world, he sighed in relief. Even the slightest mistake on his part would have sent Sandoval into a panic, blinded by pain. At least he would now be able to protect himself from a Vale full of thoughts and emotions-they would no longer overwhelm him. Still, only Moondance could deal with the pain…

Vanyel gently brushed Sandoval's cheek with his hand. He would recover physically. That Vanyel was certain of. If only he could recover mentally. It was so late for his channels to be opening, especially in this manner-there was so much to deal with. And to be both a strong Mindspeaker and Empath… He had never heard of anyone so talented in both Gifts. To balance those with Healing…

"You work well with him," Da'an said softly, breaking Vanyel from his thoughts.

"I have been in his position," Vanyel replied, turning to face Da'an. "This is much for him to deal with-I only hope I can help him through it. He will not be the same person he once was."

Da'an bowed his head. "I know." He met Vanyel's eyes. "I should leave you alone with him. You do not need me here to distract you."

"It's the middle of the night, Da'an," Vanyel insisted. It seemed Da'an was very politely trying to leave the two of them alone together. Surely he couldn't know… Vanyel pushed the thought out of his mind. "There's no need to find your way around the Vale in the dark. Stay."

:Stay. Scratch Serous' neck.: The bird moved closer to Da'an.

Vanyel laughed to himself. Who could disobey an order like that?

***

"Is that you, Sunlark?" Lili asked, hearing someone enter the building. The kestra'chern had taken to stopping by everyday for the past week and a half. He'd explained so much to her-who the Tayledras were, how the Vale operated, recent history of this world, and some basics of the Tayledras language.

"No. It's Sundance…"

"I'm sorry." Lili turned around. "I was expecting Sunlark."

"Actually, it was Sunlark who sent me," Sundance explained. "He asked me to tell you that while he is always available, he felt you no longer needed him."

Lili bowed her head slightly, disappointed. While there had been nothing romantic between them, she'd grown fond of the time she and Sunlark spent together. He was so easy to talk to…and it had been so long since she could be that open with anyone. Over the course of their discussions he had learned almost every detail of her life-yet she knew so little about him…

"He told me you had been something like a scout on your world and that you might enjoy learning what I do," Sundance continued. "We are always in need of more scouts. And since you don't know when you will be able to leave, if ever…" she didn't finish her offer. It was already clear. "That is, unless you would rather stay around the Vale…"

"No," Lili said quickly. "I feel useless sitting here not doing anything. I'd love to work as a scout, if you think I can. But I have to warn you, I don't have a clue what I'm supposed to do."

Sundance smiled, excited at the prospect of training a new scout. "The Council has accepted all of you as members of k'Treva. I do not think they would object to you taking action to contribute to its well being. On the other hand, I believe they would welcome it. As for learning… I will show you what is expected and teach you the ways of the forest. You will learn quickly, I am sure."

Lili laughed. "I hope so." It was obvious Sundance and she were becoming great friends.

"Oh," Sundance glanced at her, "do you know how to handle a bow?"

"A bow?" Lili shook her head.

"That I must teach you before we venture outside the Vale. Come…"

***

"I think I might have found something that would interest you," Moondance said, looking up from Sandoval.

"What?" Vanyel went immediately to the Healer's side. Moondance had been working with Sandoval for a week and a half, what would he be finding now? He opened his mind, finding Moondance's link and following it down to Sandoval.

:They're Compulsions,: Moondance said, repulsed.

"Compulsions?" Vanyel asked, pulling back from his mind. "Why? Who would have set them?"

:Maybe you should ask Da'an,: Yfandes interrupted.

"Da'an?" He turned to the Taelon, confused. "What do you know about this?"

Da'an bowed his head, avoiding Vanyel's eyes. "It is my doing," he said softly. "My people require all Protectors to be implanted with a CVI. It ensures their loyalty and makes them better able to serve us… I do not support the practice, but I have done nothing to stop it."

Vanyel shook his head. He hadn't a clue what Da'an had just said, but it really didn't matter. "Can you reverse them?" he asked Moondance.

The Tayledras sighed. "There are many of them, and they are set in a manner I have never seen before. It is almost as if his entire mind has been affected. But…"

"But?" Vanyel prodded him.

Moondance smiled. "But I think I can reverse them. And it will not take long…" He turned back to Sandoval. Vanyel nodded, watching impatiently.

"There." Moondance stood some time later. "When pathways are forced against their will in that manner, they are easy to reverse. They wish to revert to their natural state, it takes only a small amount of persuasion to place them there." He paused. "I've done everything possible for him. Physically he is fine…" Starting for the door, he stopped. "I'll send the hertasi with some bread and water. You might wake him… Be careful, Van." He turned and left.

"It would be best if I am not here when he wakes up," Da'an said, heading for the door.

"You've sat here nearly as long as I have," Vanyel protested. "You should be with him."

"No, I should not. I do not expect you to understand… You cannot know the extent of what I have done to him. And I fear he may now realize this…" Not waiting to hear Vanyel's reply, Da'an quickly left the room.

A hertasi came in immediately, setting down a try on the table. "Thank you," Vanyel said softly, making sure not to spook him. The hertasi nodded politely, disappearing out the door.

Vanyel carefully sat down on the edge of the bed, gently placing his hand on Sandoval's shoulder. "It's time to wake, dear Sandoval," he said softly. "You've been long asleep. But you are now able to care for yourself."

Sandoval stirred, slowly opening his eyes. He studied the room for a few moments, then turned to Vanyel. "Every thing is so dull… Where am I? What happened?"

"You were injured in an accident," Vanyel explained. "You are in my quarters, where Moondance has been taking care of you. He has managed to Heal all your physical wounds, however…there is much you must learn to deal with mentally. Several of you channels have been opened; you will have to learn to use them."

Sandoval seemed not to hear a word he said. "And my CVI?"

"I assume you mean your Compulsions. Da'an called them the same thing. They have been reversed."

"Reversed? But how? I wouldn't be able to live… And my skrill…"

Vanyel smiled. "You underestimate Moondance's skills. What is often impossible by others' standards is many times commonplace for a Tayledras Healer of his talent. I think even he does not know how far his powers reach. As for your…creature," he motioned to Sandoval's skrill, "from what I saw several of the Compulsions merely provided a link between it and your mind. You are a Mindspeaker and an Empath now-you do not need such an artificial link. The two of you are now partners, no longer slaves of each other. You can now provide it with what it requires; it must no longer take those things from you. And it will do willing what you ask it; you no longer force it into your service-dominating it." He rose, taking the bread and water off the table. "I know this is difficult to understand-and it is so much to take in at this time. I will try to answer you questions as you eat."

Sandoval nodded, struggling into a sitting position. Vanyel waited patiently-he was so weak… When he was settled, Vanyel handed him the bread and water. Tentatively, Sandoval took a bite of the bread, grimacing slightly. Vanyel laughed. "You may not find the taste pleasurable," he said, pulling a chair up next to the bed. "But it is made with many herbs which will help your condition. "Sitting down, he watched Sandoval as he ate. This was not the same man who had come into the Vale. He had lost something-his cold arrogance. The self-confidence and invincibility which had shown all too clearly in his eyes had been replaced by sadness and vulnerability. He had told Da'an that Sandoval would not be the same person, but he hadn't expected such and immediate or drastic change. The Compulsions…? Perhaps. They would have directed his movements, forcing him into states he otherwise would not be in. The pain…? Likely. It had a way of changing people completely. And being flooded by so many's thoughts and feelings would have a profound effect on anyone.

"You said something about channels," Sandoval said, breaking Vanyel from his thoughts. "What were you talking about?"

"Each Gift has its own channel. Mage, Fetching, Mindspeech, and so on. For a person to have these Gifts the channels must be open-the strength of the Gifts dependent on how wide open they are. Usually if these are to open in a lifetime, they do so naturally-and slowly-as a child. However, we now know they may be forced open. That is what happened to you. The energy which passed through your body blasted open several of these channels completely open all at once-gifting you with very strong Mindspeech, Empathy, and Healing."

"That's what happened to you, wasn't it?" Sandoval asked.

"I am surprised you remember that," Vanyel replied, "but, yes. Though I was not affected by node energy, it was Gate energy. And it opened my Mage channels." He met Sandoval's eyes, holding them in his gaze. "I know what you are going through, for I have been there myself. I will train you in what I can, and find others to help you in areas beyond my expertise."

"Train?"

"You must learn to use and control your powers."

Sandoval was quiet for quite some time, turning his head away from Vanyel. "And what if I don’t want to?"

"Then they will consume you."

:Dark One well?: Serous asked, waking up from a nap and spotting Sandoval sitting up. He hopped to the bed, excited. The conversation grew silent, and Vanyel knew the bird had singled out only Sandoval to speak to. Vanyel broadened his 'hearing' enough to pick up what the bird was saying. He shuddered slightly; before now he would never had considered eavesdropping on a bondbird's conversation with its bonded. This just appeared to be a special case...

:Serous worry about Dark One. But all well now. No more hurt,: the bird continued.

Sandoval looked to him, panicked. "Meet Serous. He's grown quite…fond of you."

"Well, I'm not fond of him. Damn bird, go away," Sandoval said sharply. Serous chirped loudly in response , not moving.

"Has anyone ever translated Tayledras into your tongue?" Vanyel asked, keeping his eyes focused on Serous. Sandoval didn't answer. "Roughly, it means Hawkbrothers. They breed a special kind of birds to work with them, smarter and bigger than their 'natural' counterparts. These are called bondbirds. At an early age, these birds bond, or form an exclusive connection, with a Tayledras. Or most of them do. Serous is an exception. He's lived in the Vale, unbonded, for a couple of years. And now, he's bonded to you." Vanyel glared at the bird. "I've tried to explain that you might not want him, but he's terribly stubborn."

:He not like. Go…: Serous Sent to Vanyel, sadness evident in his 'voice.' Turning from them, he flew out an open window.

"Where's he going?" Sandoval asked, seeming truly unconcerned.

Vanyel shook his head. "I don't know what bondbirds do when they're rejected. I am not Tayledras..." He stood, taking a few steps from the bed. "Come, my raven, it is time you learned to fly again…"

***

Very carefully, Sandoval sat down on the bed. He was incredibly sore from the small amount of walking Vanyel had forced him to do. Sore for the first time in a long while. With his CVI he didn't seem to ever hurt like this-or at least he didn't notice it. Sandoval scoffed, it had been a long time since he'd felt anything-love, happiness, sadness… The CVI had blocked it all. Now these emotions were flooding back to him-and not all of them were his own.

If they were to drown him, so be it. He would rather suffer at their mercy than be without them now that he had experienced that option.

Why had he willing let the Taelons do this to him? His blind faith had gained him nothing. The power he had held was nothing more than illusionary. If he had been able to look close enough, he would have realized it did not truly exist. Even then it was only momentarily his. And what it had cost him… His life… His friends… His 'true' job… Deedeee… He drew a sharp breath, gasping in pain at the thought. Oh, God. Deedee. What had he done to her? His decisions had cost her life…

Sandoval tentatively reached up to his cheek, wiping away a tear. He had thought the CVI provided clarity…but only now that it was gone was he seeing clearly. And he had opened his eyes on a scene he'd preferred to have kept hidden.

He glanced to the skrill on his arm. Yet another species the Taelons had forced under their control. And another reminder of what they'd done to him, and how they had forced his compliance… A reminder of all the horrid things he had done for them…

Sandoval closed his eyes, leaning back on the bed. He wouldn’t wear this brand. Moondance had freed him from the CVI, surely he could do something about this…

***

:So this is where you've been hiding.: Yfandes stepped from the brush to find Da'an standing next to one of the Vale's waterfalls.

Da'an turned to face her. :Of them all, I think this one is the most beautiful.:

Yfandes looked to the cascade of water. :Yes. When we are in the Vale, I spend much time here. It is peaceful-a nice place to think…:

:I am not in the mood for word games…:

:Funny,: she laid down gracefully in the emerald green grass, :I thought you were quite good at them.:

Da'an was silent, avoiding her comment. 'Fandes snorted, settling comfortably into the silence. :You can't avoid him forever.:

:Who said I was avoiding him?: Da'an asked defensively. :I have no reason to keep from meeting with him-he serves me.:

:You're not stupid,: Yfandes replied. :You question how he will react to you, now that he can see what you've done to him.:

:I never meant to hurt him…: Da'an said, giving in to her. :I did not wish to take away his freewill…:

:You say that,: she snapped, :but now that he has it, you will have nothing to do with him.: She studied him closely, extending her Senses to pick up anything he might be leaking. :You're afraid,: she said bluntly. :You're fond of him, and you're afraid that now that he has a choice he'll desert you.: Yfandes rose, going to Da'an's side. :You did the right thing by allowing Moondance to remove the Compulsions. He'll understand that and thank you-eventually. Yes, right now he's upset; there is so much he must get over before he can forgive you. It will happen, though-in time. Be patient. He will choose you. But he will serve you in his own way.: Finishing, she took a few steps away, giving him some room. Silence descended over the area except for the constant fall of water. Bird calls shattered the silence at random intervals as the feathered creatures marked and defended their part of the Vale.

Yfandes was just about the leave when Da'an broke the silence. :You have something else you wanted to speak to me about?: he asked, almost hopefully.

:You're getting too good at reading me. I'll have to put up better shields,: Yfandes said, amused. :Actually, yes. I did.: She turned to face him yet again. :I've been talking to several people on the Council, and they're of the opinion that we're not going to be able to return you to your home…:

Da'an eyed her questioningly.

:You have to understand there is so much to consider. We know nothing about how you got here. In fact, until you showed up no one had any idea that other worlds existed, let alone that a Gate could be built between them. Not the Companions, not the Tayledras…: She paused for a moment, letting him process what she had said. :We don't even know where to begin studying the phenomena. Was it Vanyel that triggered it? It's not unusual for unexpected things to happen around him-he's just so powerful… Was it the places the Gate was set? A joining of energies which sparked this? Or did it have something to do with your world? The 'shuttle'? The storm? Maybe it was both worlds-a connection of energy between them that was tapped. Or perhaps they were merely closer together for some reason. Then again, this could be a natural occurrence and we were all just in the right place at the right time.: Yfandes shook her head at the thought.

:Besides,: she continued, :it's dangerous. You know what happened with the lay line, and the Tayledras have been moving lines longer than I've been alive. Energies are just so unpredictable-especially Gate energies. Eventually maybe someone will figure out the secret of such a Gate as the one that brought you here-and could send you back. But it is going to take time-lots of it. And if it endangers anyone…:

:I do not wish to place anyone in danger.: Da'an bowed his head slightly. :It seems then that we have little choice but to remain. I do not mind so much myself, but the others… I would have liked to have been able to return them to the life they know.:

:A life which neither of them thrived in,: Yfandes said, startling Da'an. :Ah, do not think that I didn't notice. Both of them were unhappy, feeling as if they had no one in their world, no one to care for and no one to care for them in return. They are finding that here. Lili has already become good friends with Sundance and is quickly learning the ways of a scout. It is a friendship which I think will last. As for Sandoval… He could not return anyway-not without extensive training. Even then, he still would harbor so much power… In time I feel he too will discover what he is looking for here.: She glanced at Da'an, trying to read his reaction. She knew what she had said was the truth, but often the truth was the hardest to accept.

Da'an nodded in agreement, meeting Yfandes' crystal blue eyes. :And I too have found a friendship I did not expect.:

***

Da'an stopped on the path, eyeing the last bend cut into the undergrowth. He knew what was ahead-Yfandes had made a point of telling him where Sandoval would be this afternoon. He'd resolved not to give into her, avoiding the attaché at all costs. But as the day wore on, he found himself drawn more and more to this spot… Making up his mind, Da'an continued on.

Reaching the clearing, he stopped once again. Sandoval sat leaned against a large rock, his back turned to Da'an. He seemed focused on the waterfall that cascaded into the pool at his feet, yet another of the Vale's numerous waterfalls… Sandoval paid no attention to Da'an's presence. Da'an glanced to him, wondering momentarily whether the was capable of rising without assistance after being abed for so long.

"I can walk perfectly well. I'm not that helpless," Sandoval replied sharply, still not turning to look at Da'an.

Da'an started. How had he known…?

"I'm sorry," the man mumbled, closing his eyes as if in pain and bowing his head. "There are just so many things that find their way into my head-even when I don't want them to. I don't know how-or why…" He shook his head slightly. "I can't help but hear them and see them…"

Da'an nodded, understanding now. Empathy. Vanyel had said Sandoval was talented at Empathy-and Mindspeech. He would have to be more careful of how he shielded himself.

He hesitated, for once not knowing how to begin a conversation with Sandoval. There was so much to be said between them…and this was definitely not the same person he had met years ago. It was as if something had been destroyed in him-as if he had been broken by all that had happened. Da'an blushed, tilting his head. It was all too clear who was to blame…

"I am glad to see you are well," Da'an said finally, coming to stand next to Sandoval.

"Why did you do this to me, Da'an?" Sandoval asked instead of answering, jumping directly to the point.

"It was the will of the Synod," he answered. "I wish it had not happened."

"Deedee was the only reason I lived; I loved her," he continued, staring into the water. "And I locked her away for no reason. I destroyed her life, and I was her death."

Da'an flinched at the words. He had not known Sandoval had such deep feelings about his wife. "I am sorry," he said softly, wanting to say more but unable to find the words.

"No, you are not sorry. All you want is for me to do your bidding. You care about nothing else," Sandoval accused.

"You are unfortunately correct. That is exactly how the Synod view the human race. They plan only to use you as a means to their end-regardless of what it will cost your race. There was a time I supported such a method, but I no longer do."

Sandoval finally met his eyes. "I would have served you without the MI. There was no need…"

Da'an held his gaze for as long as he could stand, then turned away. "I understand that now. If only I had realized it sooner…"

"Nothing would have changed," Sandoval finished for him.

"You are probably correct." Da'an paused, not wanting to ask his next question. "What is to come of this?"

Sandoval shook his head. "I don’t know. There's too much to consider."

A heavy silence descended upon them as they sat, unmoving, each lost in their own thoughts. Da'an let his attention fall to Sandoval, studying every detail. It took a few moments for him to realize Sandoval no longer had his skrill. "I would think the future is all too clear-you have removed everything that ever connected you to the Taelons."

Sandoval followed his gaze, realizing what he meant. "You expected me to keep it, after what you've done to me?" he snapped. "I couldn't live that way-not anymore. I can't handle it right now. Maybe later…" Sandoval paused. "Moondance found someone to host it…"

Da'an nodded, sensing it was time to leave. This awkward conversation had drug on long enough; there was no use torturing either party any longer.

"Da'an?" Sandoval asked. Da'an stopped, turning back to him. "Eventually…" He didn’t finish his comment, but Da'an knew… Nodding, he left the clearing.

***

Sandoval sat, staring out the window into the pitch black night. He sighed silently, laying down on the bed, but knew he would not be able to sleep. Everything was just so hopeless… His conversation with Da'an had shown him that.

What had happened? There had been so much he wanted to say, to make Da'an understand just how much his life had been ruined. But for the first time in his life the words would not come. Every time he looked at the Taelon memories flooded his mind. Though no longer enhanced by a CVI, the emotions associated with them were free to haunt him. There was such pain…unbearable pain which threatened to consume him like an uncontrolled flame.

Sandoval shuddered as thoughts of Deedee floated through his mind. Deedee… He'd destroyed the very thing he had lived for. Willingly destroyed her for nothing-for a group of aliens who planned to enslave the human race. And he had been helping them… As if hurting Deedee wasn't enough… How could he live knowing all that he had done? The pain…the memories-they would be with him forever. Sandoval sat up, glancing to the knife that had been left on the table. There was only one way to stop them…

Somewhere in the dark of the night Sandoval heard a bird scream…

***

"Thank you for coming, Sunlark," Vanyel said as the kestra'chern came into view. He sighed to himself-he was lucky Sunlark had shown up.

"I must say I was surprised when I received your message. It is not often I would expect to hear from you." Sunlark paused for a moment. "But then I realized you had an Outlander in your care. I would have come sooner, but…"

"I know you are busy," Vanyel said. "I am just glad you agreed to come."

Sunlark eyed him closely. You need not have questioned such a thing. I would not hesitate to respond to a friend's request." He nodded towards the door to the building. "Shall we…?"

Vanyel nodded in response, shuddering slightly at the thought. He'd spent as little time as possible with Sandoval. While he wanted to comfort him, this brought back memories he didn’t want to face. Especially around Sandoval. He couldn't help but feel guilty loving someone after…

"Van?" Sunlark asked softly. "Are you well?"

Vanyel started, broken from his thoughts. "Yeah. I'm fine," he replied shakily, still trying to push unwanted memories from his mind.

Sunlark seemed unconvinced, placing a hand lightly on Vanyel's shoulder. "There is no need for you to accompany me if you feel you cannot do so. I do not with this to cause either of you pain…"

Vanyel smiled slightly, relaxing at Sunlark's touch. It was cool and comforting; calmness radiated from it and spread through his body. He closed his eyes, relishing in the peace it brought.

"Better now?" Sunlark asked several moments later, breaking their touch.

"Yes, I am." Vanyel nodded, this time sincere. He opened his eyes, meeting Sunlark's. "Thank you."

"There is no need to thank me. As I said, I do not hesitate to respond to a friend's request-or need." He motioned to the door yet again. "Once more, shall we proceed?"

Vanyel followed Sunlark into the semi-darkened room. Sandoval sat on the bed, staring blankly into space-focusing on nothing. He looked surprisingly well, considering. They had been lucky-too lucky. If Serous hadn't come to him panicked, they would not have known until it was too late for Moondance to do anything for him. Vanyel started to get Sandoval's attention, but Sunlark silenced him with little more than a look.

He watched silently as Sunlark sat down facing Sandoval, taking one of his hands and examining the fresh scar on his wrist. It was amazing how quickly people could be changed. For appearing so strong, in truth they were so fragile. The slightest incident could shatter them into a thousand pieces. He suspected this had been building for Sandoval-he was only here to see the fall…

"This is becoming all too familiar a mark," Sunlark said, breaking Sandoval from his trance. He traced the jagged line with his fingers. "It pains me each time I see another, for it signifies more hopelessness and loneliness than any person should be forced to endure."

"How can you know what I'm feeling?" Sandoval asked halfheartedly.

Sunlark smiled. "I believe you are the answer to your own question. How is it that you know I am sincere in wishing to help you?" Sandoval was silent. "It is my job to know, Sandoval, and to relieve that pain-in much the same way Moondance does for physical wounds."

"I don't need you," Sandoval insisted.

"Others disagree," Sunlark glanced at Vanyel, "as do I. I can only imagine how difficult it is for you. You have been taken from the world you know, and forced into this one. Then to endure the pain of having node energy sent through you and dealing with the channels it opened. Mindspeech and Empathy are difficult Gifts to deal with, even for one experienced in such tings-especially at your strength and together in combination. Though you have been shown the very basics in shielding, you are not yet versed enough to protect yourself completely. Things must seem terribly bleak to you-living like this for the rest of your life."

Sandoval bowed his head, refusing to acknowledge Sunlark's words. Sunlark studied him closely, and Vanyel wondered what else the kestra'chern had planned. He had never seen a kestra'chern fail to achieve the results they wanted…

"Or perhaps I have not yet hit on the reason," Sunlark continued. "Perhaps it goes deeper than what has happened here. The Compulsions you suffered under…the loss of your wife…the things you did for the Companions…-all are difficult to bear."

Sandoval looked up, surprised. The fear and pain in his eyes tore at Vanyel. Sandoval had lost a loved one? He hadn't known…

"Do not question how I have learned such things," Sunlark warned him. "Realize only that I know-it is no longer a secret of yours to keep. Secrets such as that will destroy you, Sandoval. If kept inside, they grown and become more poisonous with time. You keep many secrets…"

"Then what am I supposed to do?"

"You must have the courage to face your past and all that has happened in it. But at the same time, you must let go of the guilt and the pain. Never forget what you have experienced, but do not let it consume you either." Sunlark rose, letting go of Sandoval's arm. "You have been given a second change on this world. Do not bind yourself to your past life, but learn to live here. Find enjoyment in life once again." Sunlark turned quickly, leaving the room.

Vanyel hurried after him, finding Sunlark waiting just outside the door. "He does not need me," Sunlark said, taking Vanyel's hand as he had Sandoval's. Vanyel tried not to flinch as Sunlark turned it over, revealing his own scars. "He needs you." With that, Sunlark disappeared down the path.

Vanyel sighed, realizing Sunlark was right-Sandoval should know… Unfortunately, that did not make the story any easier to tell. It would require telling Sandoval things he'd prefer the man not know-least he reject him for what he was. Vanyel shook his head slightly-that he would not be able to handle. He loved Sandoval too much to keep from being hurt if he was rejected by him. Taking a deep breath, Vanyel stepped back into the room. There was no other choice…

Sandoval was once again staring off into space. This time, however, he appeared to be less trying to escape all that had happened, then contemplate it. Vanyel laughed softly, taking the seat Sunlark had used. "It seems Sunlark has given my raven much to consider."

Sandoval turned from his thoughts, focusing his attention on Vanyel. "Why do you call me that? Raven?"

Vanyel studied him for a moment. He'd asked as if there was another meaning for the word, which Sandoval was surprised to hear applied. Or perhaps surprised that Vanyel knew. "Black hair is uncommon in the Vale. The energies which flow through here tend to bleach it to a silver. Yours will turn eventually, but for now it is black-like a raven's feathers." Vanyel switched topics. "If you do not mind having more to think about, I have a story I would like to share with you. Some of it you have already heard, but…" Sandoval nodded.

"I have told you before that I was fostered at the Haven court with my aunt, Savil," Vanyel started. "I met someone there-someone who was to mean a lot to me…"

Vanyel stopped, hesitating. There was no easy way to say what needed to be said… "I…I do not know what your kind would call it-or how they view such a thing. Here I would be called shay'a'chern, or shaych. Basically, it refers to the fact that I prefer lovers of my own gender… Here, little is though of it-while not productive to the survival of a race, it is an accepted occurrence in nature. And so the Tayledras see it as nothing unusual. Starwind and Moondance are not an exception…

"But at Haven, shay'a'chern are not as accepted, nor as plentiful. If it had not been for Tylendel, I would not have known what I am. He showed me much about myself, including the fact that we were shay'kreth'ashke, or lifebonded. That bond connected us so closely…" Vanyel shook his head, moving on.

"Tylendel had a twin, Staven. He was killed-murdered, actually-in a blood feud. Tylendel vowed revenge, and I helped him get it. He used me to help him build a Gate and attack his enemy using magic. Tylendel's Companion did not approve and tried to stop him-getting killed in the process. Without his Companion, and mad with grief and magic, Tylendel killed himself. It is a long explanation and I do not understand it all myself, but the Gate energy was grounded through me-and my channels were blasted open.

"I blamed myself for what happened to Tylendel. I should have been able to stop it. And I could not face living another moment without him. His death had left a void in me that could never be filled. So I tried to kill myself." Vanyel turned his wrists so that Sandoval could see the scars. "To punish myself for letting Tylendel die… To escape the pain…

"It was not easy, learning to live once again. Even today, I miss Tylendel. To tell you this brings back painful memories and questions of how I could have prevented his death."

Vanyel closed his eyes and bowed his head-not wanting to see Sandoval's reaction. "I will leave you now..." He stood to go.

He hesitated. This was his only chance to tell Sandoval what he had wanted to from the first day he had seen him. After this… And he had told him so much already… Vanyel looked to Sandoval, not trying to stop the stream of tears which ran down his cheeks. "I have not loved anyone since 'Lendel. I had feared I would never do so again. He gave me so much, I felt to love another as deeply as I had him would be to betray him. But I see now I was wrong, for I love you, my raven. And I understand why you can most likely not return my love…" Vanyel turned and fled from the room.

***

"You appear to be doing well."

Sandoval glanced behind him to see Lili approaching. He eyed the clothing she wore-scouts clothing, he'd learned that much. Lili as a scout? Made sense. Without answering, he turned back to the stream.

Lili sat down next to him. "Heard they removed your CVI." Lili once again didn't get an answer, she paused. "Did I interrupt something?" she asked, tentatively.

"No. I was just thinking about Deedee." He scoffed to himself. It was easy for Sunlark to talk-but it was harder to come to terms with her death and leave the pain behind.

Lili studied him for a few moments, deciding. "There's something I've wanted to tell you for quite a while," Lili said. "Sandoval, Deedee's not dead."

Sandoval jumped at her words. Not dead?!

Lili hesitated. "Boone and I worked for the Resistance. He knew you needed to think she was dead, so that's what he told you. But actually, we gave her a new identity-and a new place to live…"

"She's not dead?" he asked.

Lili shook her head. "I'm going to go, Sandoval. Let me know if you need anything…"

Sandoval hardly heard her go. Miraculously, some of the pain that had burned so inside of him had been extinguished. He would never hold Deedee in his arms again, but somehow knowing she was alive was enough. He had not completely destroyed her life, she had been given a second chance to live… And he hoped she had taken it-she deserved it, deserved a chance to be happy.

Boone… God. Even if Boone was alive, he would never return to his world to thank him. It was too late... Sighing softly, Sandoval looked to the sky, turning his face to the sun. "Thank you," he whispered, hoping his words would be carried to whatever place Boone now resided in. For some reason he felt they would.

:Dark One no longer hurt?:

He opened his eyes at the voice in his mind. Serous sat on a rock that jutted out of the stream, his head tilted and his eyes fixed on Sandoval. "Go away," he said sharply, then stopped, seeing an unmistakable look of hurt in the bird's eyes. "Some," he answered, laughing at the idea of speaking to a bird-or of the bird speaking back!

:Heart hurt,: Serous replied. Sandoval looked at him questioningly, wondering to which of them Serous was referring. He didn't answer, and Sandoval let his mind wander yet again.

So much had happened in these past few days. He was only just now beginning to understand. It would take a lifetime to comprehend it completely. But he had a lifetime… Sunlark made so much sense-he had a second chance. A chance to being his life over, without the burdens of his previous one. This world was so different…

Things had already changed. In his last life, Deedee had been the only person to really care for him-and he had taken that for granted. Here… Moondance, Sunlark, Vanyel-they all seemed to care what happened to him, cared enough to help him.

Sandoval sighed. Vanyel… He hadn't expected such a revelation from the man-but he should have guessed. Had he been so blind as to miss Starwind and Moondance? He picked up a stone from the bank, turning it over in his hand and examining it. It had been so long since anyone had loved him-cared for him that deeply… And Vanyel had been telling the truth, he knew that much-even without the added benefits he seemed to be cursed with. Why would Vanyel lie about such a thing?

Sandoval stopped suddenly, realizing what he was considering. Vanyel?! No…he couldn't. But… No. It was wrong.

He tossed the stone into the stream and closed his eyes. Wrong by whose standards? His world's? Those were no longer valid-not here, not in this place. This was a whole new world. Why should he have to answer to the morals of his previous life? And Vanyel had said it was accepted here…

Sandoval shuddered. He was so alone-and afraid. He didn't want to face the rest of his life without someone at his side. And Vanyel… He shook his head, trying to rid it of the thought. No…he couldn't.

:Vanyel nice,: Serous said, trying to help him.

Sandoval opened his eyes. Since he was talking to a bird, nothing else should surprise him. He surveyed the clearing. Vanyel had done so much for him, it was only fair that he give the relationship a chance. Sandoval sighed again, he needed to give several things a chance…

"Serous?" he asked quietly. The bird chirped in response, cocking its head the other way. "Can you forgive me for what I said the other day?"

:Dark One sick. Not know what he say. Like Serous?:

Sandoval smiled-he'd never been forgive quite that easily. "Yes, I like Serous."

:Good. Good match.:

"I don't really know what to do with you…" Sandoval warned.

:Dark One learn. Serous teach. Not hard…: Serous replied, seeming to smile.

***

"Sandoval? What are you doing here?" Vanyel asked as Sandoval entered the room. He glanced out at the rapidly darkening twilight. He was surprised Sandoval had found the place. Since Sandoval had been using Moondance's ground room where he usually stayed, he had moved into one of the other unused ones on the outskirts of the Vale. Actually, he was surprised Sandoval had come at all…

"I've been thinking quite a bit the past few days. You said before that you'd train me…" Sandoval answered.

Serous flew in through the door and Vanyel watched as Sandoval almost instinctively held out his arm, now covered with a leather gauntlet, for the bird to perch on. Obviously he had been thinking, he hadn't been doing that a couple of days ago… Vanyel glanced at the pair; Serous was right-they were a good match. But when did he decide to go ahead and take up a bondbird? And how had he learned to handle him so well in such a short time?

:Good teacher,: Serous said, meeting Vanyel's eyes. Vanyel laughed softly, he'd forgotten the bird's preference of listening to everyone's thoughts, and not just his bonded's. Hopefully that would soon change… The bird stayed on Sandoval's arm for a moment longer then moved to a perch that had been built into the wall for such a purpose.

"As much as I can," Vanyel explained. "My talents do not lie in Empathy or Healing. But I can teach you the basics and Mindspeech. The rest…there are others I can find to help you in those."

Sandoval nodded, turning away slightly. Vanyel watched him closely; something about this was difficult for him. "Are you okay?" Vanyel asked, placing a hand on Sandoval's shoulder and steering him to a chair. "I could get Moondance or Sunlark…"

"No," Sandoval said several moments later, but continued to avoid Vanyel's gaze.

When he finally did look up, Vanyel's breath caught in his throat. There was an incredible longing in Sandoval's eyes which mirrored the one in his own. Vanyel hardly breathed; he dared not hope the gaze was for him. He wanted this too much… "Perhaps you should go."

Sandoval flinched at the words. "I'll never be able to thank you for all that you've done…" he started.

"And you don't need to," Vanyel interrupted. He backed up a few steps. No. Never, never like this… "Go."

:Stop, ke'chara,: Yfandes' voice rang sharply in his head.

:'Fandes, he's…: Vanyel protested.

:No, he's not,: she insisted, her 'voice' softer and quieter. :He didn't come here to ask you to train him, you know that. But he didn't come here to 'repay' you either.: She paused. :This is not unknown to his people, but it is not accepted. He never thought he could have feelings like this towards another of his own sex. Van, he made the decision to give this a chance several days ago, and ever since then it's been torturing him. He's had ideas instilled in him that no longer apply here, and he realizes that. But he can't help listening to them. Every time he decides to back out, his thoughts turn to you again.:

Yfandes stopped for a moment, but started again before Vanyel had a chance to speak. :Whether he's finally given into 'fate' or not, I don't know. But he is trying to learn about this world. You've been avoiding him, so you don't know that he's been talking to all manner of people-Sunlark, Moondance, Starwind, Sundance, Brightwind, Wintersong… The rest of the time he spends by himself, thinking… I believe your raven has learned more about himself in these past few days than he has his entire life…:

:How do you know?: Vanyel asked, terribly skeptical.

:Who do you think told him where to find you?: she asked. Yfandes took on a commanding tone once again. :This is hard for him, and it has taken much for him to come to you. You will hear him out.: And she was gone-her link to him completely severed.

Vanyel stood, dumbstruck. As if what she had told him wasn't enough, he couldn't remember the last time he'd gotten a reprimand from Yfandes. Sandoval willingly…? Why? "I'm sorry," he said softly, sitting down in a nearby chair.

Sandoval didn't respond to his words, and Vanyel let the awkward silence drag on. Sandoval needed to be the one to break it…

"Vanyel, I didn't start with this in mind. But…it's been so long since anyone has cared whether I live or die…" he said finally.

"Which I will give you freely in any case," Vanyel explained, still panicky.

Sandoval nodded his head. "When I realized what I was thinking… My society doesn't work that way-I'd developed a low tolerance towards homosexuals. But I realized I couldn't judge this world by my standards. I was just going to give it a chance-merely talk to you and see what happened. I didn’t think anything would come of it. I mean, hell, I'd just told a bird I'd 'bond' with it." Sandoval hesitated. "You'd done so much for me… That was meant to be a repayment…"

Vanyel's eyes widened in surprise. Had he been…? Vanyel quickly thickened his shields. He couldn't really hold it against Sandoval if he'd been prying-untrained as he was he couldn't really help doing so…

"The more I thought about it, the more I realized I did care for you-almost as deeply as you care for me. And that scared me. It is easy to say you won't judge by particular standards, but it's harder to do. But every time I decided not to go through with it, my thoughts turned back to you. It was going to tear me apart."

Sandoval sighed, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. Vanyel longed to hold him in his arms and comfort him; allow him to cry on his shoulder and tell him all would be well. But he couldn't. Not until he knew exactly what was driving this-and assured himself that it was what Sandoval wanted, not what he felt he had to do.

"I love you, Vanyel," Sandoval said quietly. Vanyel tried not to flinch-the words had obviously cost Sandoval so much that they could be nothing but sincere. Vanyel studied Sandoval closely, he was battling so much to do this-his personality, his ideas… There was nothing left of the arrogant, by-the-book man who had walked into this Vale. Nor was this a good indicator, Vanyel reminded himself. One had to look past the layers which were still crumbling to find the true essence. Kind and gentle, yet brilliant and introverted-Sandoval would be strong beyond all his other traits. It would take time though; healing does not occur over night.

"When I think of facing the future alone, it scares me. And the only one I want at my side is you. The thought of losing you cuts me as deeply as the thought of Deedee being dead. But to never have you, that hurts just as worse," Sandoval continued.

"And Deedee?" Vanyel asked.

Sandoval closed his eyes and smiled slightly-as if, for once, the thought of his wife had brought forth pleasant memories. "Do you think it's possible to love two people at the same time?"

Vanyel joined Sandoval in his smile as he remembered Tylendel. "Yes, I do." He stood up, taking a step towards Sandoval. "From the moment I saw you, I knew I loved you. I don't know whether one can have two lifebonds in a lifetime, but I feel with you the same thing I did with 'Lendel." He took Sandoval's hand in his, pulling him from the chair. "If it is what you want, I shall never leave your side, my shaya," he whispered, putting out the magelights with a mere thought.

"And I will never leave yours…"

--Fin--