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Loss And Gain-Part Two
by Jade
Disclaimer:
Earth: Final Conflict and its characters are
copyrighted by Tribune Entertainment Company. All rights reserved.
**********
Liana shrugged. "I did research," she lowered her voice to an ominous, silky
tone, "You don't want Zo'or to get blasted away, do you? Over events he didn't
have control of? I've got Resistance people in position Da'an. I give the
command and they launch the plan into action. And Zo'or will be dead within
an hour."
Da'an's eyes widened in disbelief. "Liam-" "Oh, Kincaid's not in on this," she cut him off. "He'd just cause trouble if he knew." Liana mentally held her breath. There was still a chance that Da'an wouldn't fall for it. She decided to give it an extra nudge.
"Da'an, the North American Companion," she said mockingly, "Always moralizing, aren't you? Humanity's best friend. The only 'good' Taelon there is. Yeah right," she put everything into the next words, "Coming to Earth a year early to wipe out some Humans for the hell of it, apparently. Good old Da'an. You never do anything that's 'wrong', do you?"
Her harsh words had gotten to him. "It was not...for the hell of it," he said defensively. "Wait, wait," she cut him off, "Should I take that as a confession to coming a year before schedule and blowing away my family- my sister?"
Da'an looked at her sadly. He closed his eyes and turned away from her. When he opened them, they were filled with pain.
"Yes."
She nodded. "Continue." Da'an began to explain. Everything.
What he revealed lanced through the icy barrier around her heart and sent an all too familiar pain through her soul.
****
"Where is Major Kincaid?"
"I do not know, Zo'or."
"Find him!"
"Every Companion Protector is looking for him. And speaking of Companions," Sandoval turned around, curiosity overcoming the throbbing in his head for a moment, "What of Da'an?"
"We will find out when Major Kincaid is found. I am sure Da'an is with him," Zo'or replied in a clipped voice. He settled himself on his chair- more like his throne, Sandoval thought to himself.
He had no clue where Liam Kincaid or Da'an was- but one thing was for sure he had to find them. Make sure Da'an was alive.
He was sure the girl and his masked attacker were Resistance. Maybe, once he found Kincaid, he could choose sides.
"Now. We have more pressing business," Zo'or's voice broke rudely into his thoughts, "Renee Palmer." "What of Ms. Palmer, Zo'or?" Zo'or's lips curled into a small smile.
"She is not what she seems," the Taelon told him. Observant as always, Sandoval thought, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. He had no doubt Renee Palmer was more than just a completely loyal Door International employee.
The question was what WAS she?
"I think she has had quite a hand in dealings with our Resistance friends," Zo'or voice was that of a poisonous snake. Sandoval felt his eyes widen just a bit- was she THAT heavily involved? "Really?" He channeled his voice to a tone of cautious interest, "How did you find out?"
Zo'or smile grew even more venomous. "I have my ways. And I have...associates, AgentSandoval. Associates who have been vital to this revelation."
In other words, you're not telling me, Sandoval thought, frustrated. "Very well, Zo'or. Shall I have Ms. Palmer brought to the Mothership?" "No," Zo'or sat back in his chair, "I would prefer it if Major Kincaid was present at the time." "Is the Major under suspicion as well?" "Perhaps," Zo'or said guardedly, "We shall see. Now. Make arrangements so that Renee Palmer will be here when Major Kincaid and Da'an are."
"Yes Zo'or." Sandoval turned and walked out of the throne room. He needed to get back down to Earth. To his office.
Where he could consider his options. Sandoval leaned back in his chair in front of his computer, thinking. Which choice is best for my survival? He saw the heated confrontation coming. He saw that this was a confrontation where lone operatives would not survive.
Which side would best ensure his survival?
The obvious answer was the Taelons. They had overwhelming support, definitely more advanced technology, a mothership.... everything except the kitchen sink.
But the Resistance. There was something to think about. At first, he took one glance at them and thought, losers.
But now he felt a strange premonition. That luck was with the Liberation Movement. And Sandoval had learned a long time ago to trust his gut feeling.
Besides, ever since his CVI had been slowly but surely malfunctioning, his morality had been slowly but surely returning. It had returned enough to realize that what the Taelons were doing was WRONG. And that the Resistance was RIGHT. But one thing puzzled him. An element that was more complicated. His CVI hadn't let go of his mind enough for him to comprehend it.
Da'an was....nice. He really did want what was right. But at the same time, he had done some awful things. It was the same with the Resistance.
What did it all mean? How could you be good, and yet be bad? How could you be evil and yet do good things?
Sandoval lowered his head, thinking hard. The sooner he figured it out, the sooner he could act- and the sooner he would free himself from his CVI's grip. Suddenly, his head snapped up. There WAS no good and evil, he realized. It wasn't that simple. It wasn't just black and white. Everybody was a shade of gray. Nobody could be completely evil, and nobody was completely good.
Sandoval smiled in triumph as he felt the CVI's effect weaken a bit more. Zo'or, he mused, was way to close to black for his comfort. And yet.....
Yes. He could see it now. Zo'or. A very, very dark shade of gray. But in his mind's eye, he looked closer, and saw little swirls of white. Da'an was just the opposite. Little, thin wisps of black in the overall white.
What of me? He wondered. What am I? He tried to picture himself, but try as he would, he couldn't see what his shade was. But he still couldn't grasp what he was going to do with Da'an. Or Zo'or. Or Major Kincaid. Or anyone in the Resistance. That he had to wait a while to understand.
Soon, he promised himself, soon. As soon as he understood, he would choose. Yes. Soon he would be free.
****
"So what's your little plan?" Renee asked, hands on her hips. Liam stretched back on the couch. "It's really very simple. I go back and get Da'an to say that he was...kidnapped by some Resistance people, and that I followed him and he had been injured and that I stayed and tended to him until he was healthy. I'll also get him to say that my global broke down."
"What about when Da'an sprang that silent alarm on you?" Augur asked, "Sandoval isn't just going to forget about that." "That's the critical part. We have to play it out just right. See, Sandoval is of course going to ask about that and I'll open my mouth to say something. Da'an will cut me off, like it's HIM that doesn't want me to tell. Sandoval will respect Da'an's wishes and shutup about it."
"And what if Da'an decides not to go along?" Renee asked quietly. Liam lowered his eyes. He held up the bug between to fingers. "This." "Blackmail." "It's not...yes. Blackmail."
Everyone was silent.
"It's what I have to do," Liam said, his voice sounding hollowly defensive in his ears.
"We know," Augur said, "Hopefully you won't need to use that...motivation."
"Hopefully." Liam nodded, "Yeah." Renee raised her eyebrows. "Well. Sounds like a plan. When do you plan to leave?" "As soon as Da'an gets better." Renee nodded. Liam looked down at the disc he held between his middle and index finger. Should he use this? he wondered, is it right?
****
Zo'or allowed himself to relax under the energy flow. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, trying to calm his thoughts.
But his thoughts would not calm. They kept lingering on Da'an. And all the times he had tried to kill him. And the fact that he was his parent.
He had been glad when he'd heard about Da'an's startling disappearance. Perhaps, he had hoped, he is dead. Another part of him, though, felt horror at what he hoped for. That part of him wanted Da'an to be alive. That part of him wanted to talk to his parent, to work things out. How DID he feel about Da'an now, he wondered. What should he do? Had he really meant what he had said?
Da'an words about humanity now penetrated his thoughts. Was he right? Was what he was doing wrong?
No, he though sharply, I must not waver. He had to save his race. At any cost. These Humans were only tools, an inferior race, hardly sentient. He had to save his kind. Humans would be no great loss.
His mind now wandered to his ordeal with Sister Margaret. So there were some Humans out there who understood what he was going through. Humans out there who could not bear child. Humans who could not have something to love, to raise, to take pride in. He wanted a child so badly. Why did it have to be him? Why couldn't he give birth? It wasn't fair!
Concentrate on the task ahead, he told himself sharply, do not wallow in self pity. And yet as he deactivated the energy stream, he couldn't choke back the sob that rose in his throat...
****
Renee settled herself into her office chair. It was good to be back, with the familiar Doors International screen saver in front of her. "Welcome back Ms. Palmer. How was your vacation?" "It was great, Theresa," she answered, smiling back at her secretary.
She carefully hid a much more gleeful smile. Her 'vacation' was probably one she would never forget. Unless 'vacation' defined going underground to a Resistance base to tend to a wounded Taelon and dealing with a strangely skilled girl from the streets. She had been at work for a few hours when her global beeped. She opened it.
"Yes?"
Jonathan Doors's face looked back at her. "Renee," he said brightly- or as brightly as he could manage-, "How wasyour vacation?"
"Very relaxing, thank you. I'm sure I didn't cause the company any...inconvenience?"
"Oh, no, not at all."
"Good."
"I look forward to sunny tales of Florida, hm?"
"You'll get them, Jonathan," she assured him, telling him that information of her 'vacation' had already been forwarded to his global.
"Alright then, have a good time working."
Renee laughed. "I will. Bye." She cut the connection. She smiled again to herself. Her only regret was that she wouldn't be there to see Jonathan's reaction when he read the part about Taelon family ties... She straightened and leaned closer to the computer. She had a meeting to arrange with a scientist in Oregon.
She soon found she couldn't keep her mind on her work. Her thoughts were on Liana. She kept seeing the girl's many scars and her sad, haunted green eyes. All of a sudden, she wanted to be with her, to hold her and try to make everything alright. It was strange, the sudden attraction she had to her. Another question that disturbed was: if Liana tried to kill Da'an and Liam tried to stop her- whose side would she chose?
She shook her head to clear it and concentrated on sending their contact email asking for his global number. Decisions such as these would come later. Right now she had to keep herself in the present and hope that Liam's little plan wouldn't blow up in their faces.
****
Liana caught herself slackening her grip on the gun. She mentally slapped herself and hardened her gaze.
"Ma'el- do you know of him?"
Ma'el. Yes. She knew of the Taelon that had come to Earth during ancient times.
She nodded. "Yes."
Da'an sighed and compressed his lips- a surprisingly Human gesture. "Ma'el left valuable records of his research. He- cautioned us against coming to Earth." "Should've listened to him."
Da'an gave no indication he had heard her remark.
"Ma'el's research was most vital. He had made many observations of Humans. He also gave them technology and abilities to expedite their evolution. Part of this...this giving included donning Humans with...psychic abilities."
Liana raised her eyebrows slightly. Wow. What she wouldn't give for that.
"It involved consuming a plant found only on the Taelon homeworld. The descendants of these psychics are still alive today." Da'an closed his eyes again. Again, Liana could feel his pain radiating intensely. It hit her like a brick. But she would not allow herself to soften.
The Taelon continued, his eyes still closed. "But Ma'el had also made a much more startling discovery. Ever since the era of hunter-gatherers, he had been observing a specific group of Humans.
"This select group seemed to be more- intelligent. Advanced. They showed more capacity for logic. Around the Stone Age they had already developed their own language. They understood and applied intermediate mathematics."
Liana sucked in her breath. She quickly rifled through all the lessons Reklae had recited for her. Lessons that she remembered from school. Before her life had been shattered.
The Stone Age. That was way before the idea of civilization had come to Humans' minds.m Let alone an organized language and math. Unless you acknowledged spending a week figuring out how many stones there were by counting on your fingers math.
"Ma'el kept track of this group for all the time he was on Earth," Da'an's voice was flat now, like a recording, "Descendants of the Humans ended up as ruling families in the later civilizations. Not a great surprise, it took intelligence to rule.
"Ma'el was mystified. He didn't live to finish his research. But one thing he was sure of. These Humans and their descendants are extremely smart. Strong. Adaptable. He left us DNA samples and genetic traits.
"We- I- the Taelons," Da'an's voice cracked, "realized what a threat these Humans could be. Intermediate mathematics and organized language in the Stone Age? After these many years of evolution, the possibilities of what they were capable of were frightening. They could- would, eventually, figure out what we were trying to do. And take action against us."
There it was. The confession that Da'an had his Synod friends weren't harmless aliens trying to help.
"Is that why you came early? To find these descendants and wipe them out?"
He nodded.
"I had to do it, Verdyana," Da'an said suddenly, with surprising anger and defensiveness. "I HAD to. My species....they came first. I didn't WANT to. I knew it was wrong. I hated it. I...I.."
"Stop your sputtering," Liana spat, "I couldn't give a damn about what you thought. Or felt. You did what you did. You'll accept the consequences."
Silence. Complete and total silence.
Then, "I am sorry," Da'an whispered. Liana started, her eyes widening despite herself. That was the last thing she'd expected Da'an to say. The last thing she'd WANTED him to say. She wanted Da'an to be cruel. Heartless. At least annoying. Anything, any flaw, that would calm the bit of conscience she couldn't get rid of.
But no. Something, something inside her that refused to die out, told her. It told her that Da'an had sinned, but he was sorry. That he didn't deserve to die. That he sincerely wanted to make amends. That he was going through enough pain without her adding to it.
She ruthlessly squashed down on that tiny voice inside of her. She felt the hollowness that came whenever you kill a part of yourself. "It's too late to be sorry," she told him harshly, "So hold your apologies," she shoved the point of the gun viciously into his neck. Da'an gasped out in pain.
"'Sorry' won't bring Reklae back. Will it? WILL IT?" She allowed her anger to take over. The lust, the desire to kill, to hurt, was too strong. She pushed on the gun more, completely cutting off his air flow.
"Reklae is DEAD, Da'an," she said through gritted teeth, "My parents are DEAD. You think 'sorry' is going to mean anything to me? Huh? You think 'sorry' is going to make everything alright? Huh? DO YOU?"
Da'an struggled, desperately trying to loosen her hand's hold on the side of his head. She kept her weapon in his throat for a second longer, then released him.
The alien's body went limp, his 'skin' gone, gasping blessed oxygen.
The rage drained from Liana's body. She let her gun arm fall lank at her side. Suddenly, she felt very, very weak. "Am I the last of these intelligent Humans?" she asked after a long while. "That- that we know of," Da'an managed, his facade returning, "The DNA and genetic traits sweep detected only very strong matches. There may be others out there. But as far as we know, you are the last child. The closest relative of the Strong Humans."
She nodded. Then she turned away and walked with a controlled step out of the room. She knew she was alone when she reached her mattress. She allowed herself to sink down onto the soft surface and buried her face in her arms.
But she did not cry. The urge, the yearning to release her emotion tore at her chest. But she did not cry. She had dried her body of tears when Reklae had been killed. She would not cry.
She would not cry.
Reklae would have loved this, Liana thought with a wry smile. The first words out of her mouth would have been 'Oh. My. God.' Thinking of her sister brought yet another wrenching sob to her breast, fighting to get out of her mouth. She pushed it back down. So tired. She was so tired.
She let herself lay face-down on the mattress. She closed her eyes and pictured her sister's face. Laughing. Swearing. Trying to act mad at her but not being able to keep a straight face. Reklae should have lived, she thought, not me. She's such a better person.
The only thing they had had in common physically, she realized, was their eyes. Bright green. Bright enough to shock herself sometimes. Her musings took on a darker color as they settled on Da'an. She felt satisfaction as she relived plunging the gun into his soft, vulnerable throat, almost killing him, suffocating him.
Death by suffocation. She felt her lips curl into a smile so cruel it scared her.
That was for you, Reklae.
Suddenly, her conscience flared up again. Only it wasn't a small part of her deep down inside. It was Reklae. She could see her in her mind's eye, her green eyes mournful and reprimanding. You shouldn't have done it, Reklae spoke. Don't cause him anymore pain. Please. Forgive.
Liana shook her head. It's just me, she told herself. It's just me. Reklae would have done the same if I had been killed. She would have wanted me to do this.
And still Reklae's eyes looked down at her, gently rebuking. "It was for you," Liana whispered fiercely, her voice muffled by the mattress, "Don't you understand? This is all for you. You want this, I know you do. This is for you."
And still Reklae's eyes blazed with sorrow.
****
Liam walked hesitantly into Da'an's room.
And gasped.
The Taelon's 'skin' was gone, his breathing was extremely labored.
"Da'an!" Liam ran over. "What's wrong?" Da'an's eyes rolled up to meet with his. "Liam..." "Da'an!" He shouted it at the top of his lungs. Two seconds later Augur came running in. "What's wrong?"
"Da'an!" "Liam what-" "Shh!" he cut him off with a vicious jab of his hand.
"Liam..." Da'an somehow put his hand on Liam's arm. The unfocused energy tingled down his arm to his palms. Where his shaquarava had once been. "Liam-" "What?" Liam leaned close to hear. "Tell them...I am sorry. Tell Zo'or that I am sorry....tell them..." Liam jerked away. "He's killing himself!" "WHAT?" Augur took a step closer. "He's willing himself to embrace the void, something like that, I don't know!" Liam shouted frantically, "Da'an! Da'an! Da'an, stop it! Please! DA'AN!"
Liana rushed in. "What the hell is-" she stopped short. "Is he...?" A part of Liam's mind that was left free noted that this girl had done some major research on Taelon physiology. "Yes," Augur snapped. "Holy SHIT!" "Da'an!" Liam shouted, his voice taking on a pleading tone, "Da'an!"
The Taelon's body was fading, the thin rivers of moving energy that shaped him were slowing. Liam felt tears stinging his eyes now. He let them fall. Da'an was his friend, through it all. He didn't want him to die. "Da'an!" The alien's body was pulsing now, getting fainter with each beat. "Check for vitals," Augur ordered. Liam's brain was frozen. No. Da'an was dead. No. He looked up at Augur numbly. "What...vitals?" "They breathe, for one thing," Liana snickered sardonically.
"Shutup!" he shouted at her, resisting the urge to rip her apart with his bare hands.
Bare hands.
He stared down at his palms.
"Augur," he said slowly, "did Lili tell you about the time the Mothership was hijacked?" Augur nodded. "Yes." "How the Jaridian used his shaquarava to bring me back to life?" "Yes...do you think...?" Augur looked over at the faint outline that was Da'an.
"Maybe. I'll try."
"Try what?" Liana demanded, "What's going on?" "Liam," Augur said quietly, "Your shaquarava doesn't work anymore." "His shaq- his what?" Liana took a step closer, "His WHAT?" "I have to try," Liam said, "He's my friend." Augur looked at him for a long time, then nodded.
Liam took a deep breath and placed his hands on the disappearing body of Da'an. He tried to activate his shaquarava.
Da'an, I'm sorry. Da'an, please come back.
Vaguely, he felt his muscles tensing. Bunching up until they hurt. His whole body shook with the effort. Pain. His body cramped. Pain.
Please Da'an, help me. Da'an, we need you. Come back.
"Kincaid!" Liana's sharp voice, sounding fuzzy through his concentration, "Stop it, you'll kill yourself!"
"Liam!"
Da'an. Please. Da'an.
"Liam! Liam!"
"
Stop it! Kincaid, you're crazy, you're going to kill yourself!"
Does it look that bad? Liam wondered foggily. His body, his realized, was beyond shaking. Spasms. Spasms of pain. But he didn't feel it. Some part of himself did, felt the hurt and screamed, but HE didn't feel it. He only felt his hands, and Da'an's rapidly disappearing energy. He had to try. Had to try.
Da'an. Please come back. Da'an! Da'an, where are you?
Sweat was streaming down his face now. His legs seemed to shrivel under him, until they could support him no longer, and he fell to his knees. Still he tried.
"Liam! Stop it!"
Da'an, WHERE ARE YOU?
His body could not go on any longer. It demanded, screamed at him to stop. And he was stopping. No matter how much he wanted to keep going, he was stopping....
And then, a thought, a voice, flitted and echoed through his mind.....
I am here.....
* * * *
Da'an felt his spirit lift free of his energy-body. He floated through and abyss, gentle purples and blues and pinks floating around him like bubbles. The Commonality. The Void. That was where he wanted to go. Where he would be happy and free of the burdens and guilts.
He felt it now...heard it. The gentle murmuring of many voices. Those who had passed on before him. "I am coming!" he shouted wordlessly. He saw the Void. Spread his arms wide. Embracedit...
He came up against something rock hard. He could not enter. He tried again. And again. "I am here, let me in!" he cried out. "You are not ready.....ready....ready..." the voices echoed each other softly, "It is not your time...time....time..." "It is!" he insisted, "I want to go!" "You may want...want....want...but what you want is not what you need...need...need..."
"What do you mean?" he shouted desperately.
"Go back...back...back..."
"No!"
"Go..."
And the Void vanished from his sight. The voices were gone. And he was left floating in the living marble of pastel colors. And the he heard another voice...a single voice...desperately calling for him.
"Da'an. Please. Da'an." "Da'an. Where are you?" It was like a whisper, a mere rustling among dry leaves. And yet, it compelled him so much...that voice...was a friend...a friend...
"I am here!" he called.
* * * *
He tried harder than ever. Directing all of his strength to his shaquarava. And then....he felt it. Glowing. Pulsing with energy. It built up until it was ready to be released. But how would it come out? Liam put forth a last burst of effort....
It flew from his palms, flowing into Da'an's body. He felt some of Da'an's life energy flowing into him as well. His mind was at peace now...he had used his shaquarava to give life....not to destroy...
The voice again, stronger this time...
I am here...
And then it stopped with a sort of sucking sound. His glowing hands returned to normal, and as if he were a puppet whose strings had been cut, he reeled backwards, to be caught in Augur's arms.
"Is he alive?" Liana demanded. He felt two fingers near his Adam's Apple. "He's got pulse," she reported. "He's breathing," Augur said, "Liam! Liam, come on kid!"
Augur. He tried to open his eyes....found he couldn't even do that...no more strength left...so tired...maybe he could talk...maybe...
"Augur?" someone croaked out. A dry voice. A cracked voice. Him? "Augur," he said again. "Liam! Liam! Oh my God...don't you ever, EVER do that again, you hear me?" "Yes." his eyelids were fluttering on their own...
"Do you need anything to drink?"
Suddenly, so abruptly is startled him, genuine peals of laughter sounded from his right.
Liana?
Liana could laugh? Like THAT?
"Oh my God. Does he need anything...anything to drink?" the girl could hardly speak. Liam would never had imagined Liana could make such a sound. Such a happy sound. A beautiful sound.
Laughter.
Then his eyes opened, focused, and brought him sharply back to reality.
"Liam! Hi!" "Hi," he said, feeling his mouth lift in a lopsided grin. Then he blinked. Da'an....
"Augur. Da'an.....?"
****
Something inside of Liana cracked. Kincaid, lying on the floor, looked so vulnerable, like a child....
"Augur. Da'an...?" His unfinished question sounded like a plea.
She sprinted over to the bed, desperately wanting the Taelon to be alive. For Kincaid. His position, his eyes, reminded her of Reklae's eyes when she had woken up from a nightmare, crying out for her parents.
She stared at Da'an intently. His chest...rising...falling...rising...falling. "He's alive," she said, careful to filter the relief out of her voice. "He is?" Augur eased Liam to the floor, and ran over to join her. "He's alive!" he called back to Kincaid, as if he hasn't heard her the first time, "He's alive!"
A cry of sheer joy came from Kincaid's mouth, he found the strength somewhere to stumble over to the bedside. "Da'an? Hey, Da'an, answer me!" A weak groan escaped from the alien.
Liana suddenly felt a pang of guilt that she would be killing someone Kincaid cared for so much.
You still want to kill him? Reklae's voice seemed to echo in her mind. After what you've seen, you'll still kill him? Liana shook her head again. It wasn't Reklae speaking. It was that weak part of herself that refused to go away. Yes, I'm still going to kill him. It's for my sister. For someone I love.
Da'an stirred, and gasped out. In pain? Liana leaned closer as the Taelon tried to speak. Finally, she could make out the words, "I am here..."
She felt a hand on her shoulder. Augur. "Let's go. Give them some time alone." Liana nodded, making no argument. She needed some time alone herself.
"You sure you're alright?" This was directed at Kincaid. Kincaid nodded. Liana held back her questions with some difficulty. Why the HELL did he have shaquarava? What was he?
She followed Augur out of the room.
****
Renee blinked. Actually, she wanted to scream, "What the HELL do you damn people DO when I'm gone?"
But that would be unseemly while sitting in her office.
"Repeat that again, Augur," she said calmly, coating her voice sugary-sweet. "Ahem," Augur cleared his throat, looking exasperated on her global, "I SAID that Da'an was killing himself and that Liam brought him back with his shaquarava and he's pretty weak right now but alive." "Who, Da'an or Liam?"
"Both."
To hell with whether or not she was sitting in her office.
"My God, what the HELL do you damn people DO while I'm gone?!" "Fun stuff." "Oooh...Augur, I am going to kill you." "That's not a new thought, is it?" "No, it's not," she growled, "You're sure everything is under control?" "Nothing's blown up yet." "Oh, THAT'S comforting. Wait till Jonathan hears about THIS."
"You've given the details of your vacation to him already?" "Yep." "Good. So, we'll see you in a few hours, have a nice work day." "I AM going to kill you, you know." Augur laughed. "See you later." He cut the connection.
Renee minimized her global with a little more force than necessary. Oh my God. All hell is going to break lose.
* * * *
"Have you found Major Kincaid yet?" "No, we have not, Zo'or." "My patience is growing thin, Agent Sandoval. The Major is vital to certain actions I plan to conduct." "And what are those actions, Zo'or?" Sandoval said suddenly, with more than just a hint of challenge in his voice. Zo'or looked at him long and hard.
"It is not you place to question me, Agent Sandoval. My intentions will be made clear...in due time." And by then it'll be too late. It's always been too late, Sandoval thought.
Renee Palmer was to be brought to the Mothership, arrested, and tortured, that much he knew. He'd chosen sides already. What Zo'or was doing was wrong. The Resistance was right. He still didn't know what to make of Da'an or some of the darker things the Liberation Movement did, but he would. Soon enough. His CVI was weakening by the minute. Soon he would be able to grasp the concept of morality.
And maybe then, he would survive.
One thing was for sure. If he were to survive, he must not let Renee Palmer fall into Taelon hands.
"Continue the search. Double your efforts." Zo'or sat back in his chair, palms up. Sandoval gave him a curt nod, then walked crisply out of the chamber.
All the way, he felt Zo'or's penetrating gaze at the back of his head.
****
"Are you alright?" Da'an opened his eyes. Somehow. "Yes," he breathed. "I'm glad you didn't lapse back again...scared me." Da'an nodded. He looked over at his Protector's rumpled appearance. Exhaustion was etched in every square inch of his face.
Liam had sat here beside him for countless hours. He had said little.
Pain suddenly bolted up his neck again. He was unable to suppress the gasp.
"Is it hurting again?"
"Yes."
"Probably has something to do with my shaquarava." Liam's eyes stared ahead into nothing. He was thinking. Da'an sensed something in his mood he didn't like.
"What is wrong?" "Hm?" Liam glanced over at him and shook his head with a half-hearted smile. "Nothing." "Are we not supposed to be completely honest with each other?" Liam stared at him blankly. The message was clear: that trust had been broken a long, long time ago. He changed the subject, suddenly charigned. "Why do you look so tired?"
"I used my shaquarava."
"I do not understand. Does using you shaquarava cause you any discomfort?"
Liam barked out a short, harsh laugh. "Yeah. You see Da'an, the longer I stay on Earth, the more Human I become. So that means my shaquarava doesn't work anymore." "But you-" Da'an broke off, horrified. Liam had forced his shaquarava into working. To do so was extremely painful. He had heard terrible, grisly stories of slow, painful deaths as a result of trying to force one's shaquarava.
"It just took a lot of effort. That's all." "Liam...I don't think you understand the extent of what you just did." "What?" the Human man looked down at him sharply, "What did I do?" "For a Jaridian or a Kimera or a Taelon to force their shaquarava would mean death."
"What? How much time do I have?"
"No. No, the point is, you forced it and survived." "And...and that's unheard of?" "Yes," he hesitated, "You must have gone through extreme pain. "Actually...I did." He could almost hear Liam frown. "Or...I think I did. My BODY went through extreme pain but....I don't think my brain really registered it. I was too busy looking for you."
Da'an felt a jolt of guilt. It seemed, that no matter what he did, he always ended up hurting someone. Even when willing his own death. Liam didn't realize what he had just endured for his sake. But Da'an knew. It would be like for a Human to cut his own throat with a knife, or to place himself inside of a fire.
"Liam," he said softly, "Thank you."
Liam looked down at him, his mouth quirked in a brief smile. For a quick moment, Da'an felt a spark of the friendship they had once shared.
But that short-lived feeling of peace was gone in the next second. "Da'an," Liam started, and he couldn't help but notice how his Protector's eyes avoided his own. "Why did you want me to tell...Zo'or that you were sorry?" Da'an turned his head away. "I-I can't tell you that." "I thought we were supposed to be completely honest with each other," he said, his voice gently mocking.
"Liam? You were right. A being does need its privacy."
Liam winced. "Um, listen, Da'an....I already know."
Da'an jerked away from him. What-? How-? "What?"
\
"Zo'or's your child, isn't he?"
Da'an's eyes widened in shock, he drew back a little more. "No! No, he-" even as he said them, Da'an knew his denials were useless.
Betrayed. Again. It just went to show him. No matter what sacrifice anyone made for you, you still couldn't trust them. Everyone wanted something. He turned away from Liam.
"Da'an-" Liam started desperately. He cut him off with rarely felt anger.
"How do you know?" he asked bitterly. Liam flinched at the betrayal in his voice.
"I...I...bugged you."
"You what?" he hissed, jerking back around. Pain ran up and down his back, but he was beyond caring about it. "You WHAT?"
"I'm sorry," Liam said limply, "I'm sorry." Sorry doesn't do any good, Da'an thought. Now he knew how Verdyana had felt. Apologies didn't do any good, he realized. They couldn't go back in time and erase past mistakes.
He looked up at Liam, searched his eyes in numb grief and anger. The he rolled back around. "Da'an-" "Go." "Da'an, listen, I-" "Go!" he raised his voice, squeezing his eyes shut.
Liam didn't say anything more. Da'an cried inwardly as he heard his Protector's footsteps leave the room.
****
Augur rested his elbows on his knees, propping his head up on clenched fists. He had seen Liam walk out Da'an's room with heavy steps, to saying a word to anyone.
He had also seen the single tear that had fallen from his eye. He felt his friend's pain. But there was nothing he could do about it. And not being able to comfort Liam cause HIM great pain.
Oh God, when is this all going to end? The pain, the betrayal, the suffering. When? Peace. That's all they all wanted. Peace. There were times Augur doubted he would live to see that. He needed to talk to someone. Liana. Liana? A part of himself said "Are you crazy?" Augur didn't know why he was drawn to the girl. Actually, he was pretty close to downright hating her.
It seemed that most everyone had...adopted her, in a way. Especially Renee.
Maybe it was because, he reflected almost bitterly, it had been such a long time since any of them had really interacted with a child. That was what Liana was, hard as it was to believe. A child. An estranged and bitter and extremely mature one....but still a child.
Children, Augur knew, was the strength behind adults. Behind the future. They WERE the future.
Someday, Liana was going to do some Resistance cell proud. Hell, she already was. THIS Resistance cell. She's gotten them into knee-deep shit, but damn, Augur had never seen such promise since Amanda.
He found Liana sitting on the edge of her mattress, forearms on her knees, hands clasped. "Liana?" she looked up at his approach. "Yeah?" "How're you doing." "Fine." "Um...good. I don't want it...to be otherwise."
Where does one BEGIN talking to a kid like this? he wondered. Liana glanced up at him, and a glimmer of a smile seemed to touch her eyes. Encouraged, Augur sat down beside her. She flinched away- but just slightly. "So. I guess this isn't easy for you." "It is." "Oh." Well. That was a dead subject. He tried again. "I guess you'll have to find a way around Liam, huh?" "I'll find one," her eyes misted over, she smiled grimly. "I always find a way."
Augur glanced over at her. "Yeah...I figured that out." While he was here, he might as well try to get to her. But slowly. Carefully. Not too obvious. "So...you wanna tell me your last name or what?"
Oh, great Augur. REAL subtle.
Liana's eyes focused, as if seeing him for the first time. She bit her lower lip. "Well, now that Da'an told me what I need to know, I guess it wouldn't hurt." "Wait wait wait wait. Da'an TOLD you?" "He needed a little help in the process, but yes."
"Damn it," he muttered, "We leave you unsupervised for one second-" "You're not my parents, Augur," she said harshly, "So don't worry about it." "Alright, fine. Consider it dropped." The girl looked over and raised one eyebrow.
"Verdyana," she said. "Liana Verdyana." "Hey, that rhymes," Augur said feebly. She didn't laugh. He cleared his throat. "Well. Um, I gotta go now. Take care of yourself, okay?" She didn't answer. He turned to leave, feeling rejected. But at the threshold of the hallway and the computer room, he heard her whisper, "What do you think I've been doing all these years?"
****
She stared off into the distance. And wondered. WOULD Reklae have wanted me to do this? WAS she doing this for her- or for herself?
Liana shook the thoughts out of her head. Don't be stupid, she told herself. Of course Reklae would have wanted this. This was for Reklae- for her memory. She hooked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. She had no clue what time it was- probably around 5 o'clock. Renee would be coming back soon, then.
Why did she feel glad about that?
She was getting too close to Renee, she thought. She was letting herself fall into the trap of emotions, feelings. The neglected, vulnerable child that was part of her yearned for love and caring. Renee was providing that in a way that wasn't overwhelming. She had to distance herself from her.
She was just so tired. She lay back and closed her eyes. And dreamed.
"Liana?"
"Reklae!"
"Liana....."
"You're alive!"
"Liana, don't kill anymore....forgive, don't kill....."
"No! This is for you!"
"Liana, please...."
"No," she said firmly, "I'm going through with this."
"Liana..." the voice was sad now, getting more distant. "Liana......" It was drifting away. Liana cried out, tried to move her arms and legs, only to find she had none.
"Liana...."
"Reklae! No Reklae, come back!"
And then she was alone in the darkness. In the black.
"REKLAAEE....!"
****
Renee walked quickly down the aisle through the chairs in the church sanctuary. She opened the hidden entrance and stepped into the lift that would take her down to the hide-out.
This time, she used her codes.
If Augur holds a gun on me when I step in, he's gonna be losing BOTH his arms, she thought.
The lift stopped with a slight lurch and the doors in front of her opened with a silent whoosh. She stepped out, walked briskly down the few steps, and peeked cautiously through the doorway. Augur was sitting on the couch, his back facing her, deep in thought. Liam and Liana were nowhere to be seen.
"Hi." He turned around. "Hi. I see you've learned how to use you codes. Congratulations." She threw him a withering look and rolled her eyes. "Where's Liana?" "On her mattress, I guess. I've got her last name, by the way." "Did the search work?" "No," Augur said absently, "she told me." Renee arched her eyebrows. "She just TOLD you?" "Well, she rubbed a bit of it in my face, but yes, she told me." "Well?"
"Verdyana," Augur said softly, "Liana Verdyana. Rhymes, doesn't it?" "Uh-huh. I'll see you later." "Um," Augur said, already lost in his own musings. Renee found Liana curled up tight on her mattress, asleep. Once again, she looked so young, so vulnerable.
She hesitated. Should she wake her up? "Hey," she said softly, gently shaking her. Liana's body jerked, and the next thing Renee saw was a blur, she felt herself being shoved down. The hard floor welcomed her with a shattering pain in the back of her head.
Her vision cleared, and Liana was straddling her, fist cocked and ready to strike.
"H-Hey!"
The girl blinked. "Renee!" She scrambled off of her. "Sorry about that."
"What, is that you usual reaction to being woken up?"
"To being startled, yes."
"Ah. The streets must be fun," she ground out, rubbing the nape of her neck and sitting down on the mattress. "Very," she agreed dryly. "Bad dream?"
Liana started. "Yeah."
"Wanna tell me about it?"
The girl looked at her for a long time, her green eyes hard as emeralds. "No."
"It's alright," Renee said, then took a shot in the dark, "It was about Reklae, right?" Liana sat back down on her mattress, interlaced her fingers, propped her elbows up on her knees, and rested her chin on her hand-made net. She smiled bitterly. "I guess it doesn't take a genius to figure that out, huh?"
"No, I guess not."
There was an awkward silence. Liana broke it. "So. How was the outside world?" "You mean work? Hellish, as usual." A small smile played about the girl's lips. "I was thinking on my way down here, if Augur welcomed me with another gun, he was going to find himself armless pretty fast."
She laughed out loud then. Renee's jaw almost dropped. She had never heard Liana laugh, other than cynically.
"Did Augur tell you about the thing with Da'an?" "Yeah. I almost bit his head off." "I can imagine." "Liana," the girl cocked her head to look at her, "Why did you tell Augur your last name?" She bit her bottom lip. Then, "Because I don't have anything to lose from it. I've gotten what I wanted."
A cold chill ran up Renee's spine. "You've...talked to Da'an?"
"Yes. I've TALKED to him."
"Liana, what did you do to him?"
"Just caused him extreme pain and cut off his air flow," she answered with surprising promptness.
"Liana, Liam said that-" "I KNOW what Kincaid said," she cut her off, "What the hell does that have to do with my actions?" "He's our leader." "Correction Renee: he's YOUR leader. I'm not part of the Resistance, remember? I'm just helping you guys."
There was another silence, one that seemed to form a chasm between her and Liana. Renee felt the barrier, the wall, go up again, separating her from the girl. "Well," she said finally, "Just watch yourself. Liam doesn't take kindly to assassins." "I know." Renee nodded and made to get up. But Liana popped a question suddenly.
"Why does he do this? Why does he...remain so LOYAL to someone who would kill him in a heartbeat?"
Renee paused, sank back down.
"I think it's because," she said slowly, chewing her words before letting them out, "I think it's because Da'an WOULDN'T just get rid of him." She hesitated. Should she say what she really thought?
"And maybe it's because," she said quietly, "Liam knows how to forgive."
If Liana was disturbed by the veiled criticism she didn't show it. Renee stood up, her head still throbbing, and left.
****
Liam looked up from the ground when he heard footsteps entering the room. "Renee," he called her over. The blonde woman stopped and came to sit down beside him and Augur. "What?" she asked suspiciously, sensing something bad.
"Ahh," Augur, too, looked extremely interested in the tiled floor of the computer room. "What?" she asked again, more urgently. "Um...I've told Da'an about the whole bug thing," Liam blurted out. Renee's eyes registered shock. Then she reached over and sharply rapped him on the head. "Hellooo, is anybody home? Are you insane? I think that just cost us any willing cooperation on his part-"
"I know, I know!"
"That and Liana completely cutting off his air-" "WHAT?" Liam grasped her wrist tightly. Renee looked confused. "You didn't know? He didn't tell you?" Liam shook his head forcefully. "No." Renee and Augur exchanged looks.
What? What had happened? He'd left Da'an alone. With Liana! She could've killed him! Why hadn't he told him?
"I think I'm gonna go talk with her right now-" he started up to where her mattress was. He felt a restraining hand on his arm pull him bodily to a stop. "We don't have time for that right now, Liam," Augur was saying, "You can reprimand her later, and trust me, I'd be more than happy to help you, but not now." Liam nodded, and slid back down onto the stuffed padding of the couch.
"Okay. So. What is this killer news you've got for me?" Damn it, Renee could see clear through him. "Ah, look," he began, "Da'an's gonna die soon without an energy shower and-" Renee interrupted him with a groan. "There is just NO way we are going through another save the dying Taelon episode...." she muttered.
"...we've got to get him back to the Mothership, cause I don't know of any place we can just rent a shower like THAT around here. The problem is, he might squeal on us when back aboard, or even refuse to come altogether." "Well, there's a cheerful summary," Renee said sarcastically, "Now what is it that's so difficult to get out of your mouths?"
Liam grimaced. "Um...there might be a way to win back some trust from him."n "Which is?" "Show him that Liam still trusts him. Completely and utterly trusts him," Augur supplied.
Liam could almost see an 'uh-oh' cross Renee's face. "And what can you do that will convince him of that?" "First, destroy the bug," Liam took a deep breath, not daring to meet Renee's eyes, "And secondly...show him YOU."
****
I'm a little eavesdropper, short and stout.
The words popped into Liana's head in tune to 'I'm a Little Teapot, Short and Stout.'
She blinked, almost laughed, and wondered if this whole Resistance thing was costing her her sanity.
The next words she heard from Kincaid's mouth confirmed HIS mental condition.
"And secondly...show him YOU."
He's nuts.
Liana could hear stunned silence from her position at the threshold. "You're nuts," Renee said finally. Alright, go Renee!
"Look...it's the only way." How about I knock some sense into your head by slamming it a few times against the wall? That might be another way.
"We're only doing this with your permission," she heard Augur's slightly accented voice. That's the only way it'd better be!" She heard Renee sigh, just barely, "Alright, okay, fine. It's our only option, right?" "We could always use the bug on him-" Liam started. "Forget it, we're doing it this way," Renee said quickly. There was a rustling, Liana guessed they were all standing up. She took a step back, just in case.
"So, when do we do this?" Renee's voice. "Now." "Now?" Augur yelped, "Liam, I hate to say this, but I think Da'an hates the sight of you right now." "I know," Kincaid said quietly, "But he's still dying."
Maybe it's because Liam knows how to forgive. Renee's words echoed accusingly through her mind. That statement had affected her more deeply than she wanted to admit. At some quiet signal, probably a nod, three sets of feet began walking towards where she was.
She quickly but silently retreated to sit innocently on her mattress. "Hi Liana." She looked up at Kincaid's voice. Renee and Augur stood behind him. "Has Augur told you my last name yet?" "Yes..." he sounded slightly puzzled at the question. "Well, now that you know it, you're allowed to call me Verdyana, you know," she said coldly.
Kincaid nodded. "I would, but your first name is so much easier to say."
Liana nodded in return. 'Verdyana' WAS quite a mouthful to say. Still, she didn't want Kincaid using her first name when he had an alternative. "Okay then, is there anything all three of you wanted?" Renee shifted uncomfortably. "No," Augur said, "We're just going to see Da'an."
"Ah," Liana said, making it sound like she knew nothing of the situation, "Say hi to him for me," she smiled coldly. "I will," Kincaid said, glaring daggers at her. He stayed there for a few seconds longer. Liana gave her eyebrows a meaningful lift. "Well....you don't want to keep Da'an waiting, do you?" Kincaid took the not exactly subtle hint and stepped into Da'an's room. Renee followed, and Augur went back to the Nut Room.
Liana walked swiftly to the edge of the room. She focused her hearing and listened.....
****
"Da'an?" He heard his name uttered almost timidly from behind him. He turned, not sure if he was ready to face Liam yet. "Yes?" "Ah, Da'an, listen...I know you're dying. You need those energy showers. I have to get you back aboard the Mothership, but we're going to have to tell some, ah, lies."
"You're asking me to cooperate."
"Yes."
Sudden anger flashed up inside him. "You DARE ask me to lie to my race, my friends, after what you did?" Liam looked down at the floor.
"Da'an," he said finally, "this-" he held up a small, white disc. "This is the bug I recorded your conversation with Zo'or on."
Da'an eyes grew wide, dread choking his throat. Liam was threatening him. And he had no choice but to go along. He could manage nothing for a moment except, "How could you?" His Protector was silent, staring down at the device in his palm. And then, to Da'an's utter shock and amazement, he broke the bug in two, then dropped what was left and ground it beneath his heel.
"There. Your secret is safe."
"Wha-what?" he stammered, his energy-starved brain not comprehending. "No one will ever know now." Da'an stared down at the almost powdered pieces of the eavesdropping device, then back up at Liam.
"I-you mean-"
"Da'an, you were right," Liam went on eagerly, "We can't work together if we don't trust each other. Well, I guess trusting you is going to be kind of hard, and vice versa." The Human man took a deep breath. "But I want to trust you. And...well, I guess there's no better way to prove trust."
Liam stepped aside-and from around the corner of a tall wardrobe came Renee Palmer.
Da'an stared. Renee Palmer. Doors International's CEO...Resistance? What?
"Hello Da'an," she spoke in the icy cold voice that came with her unreadable expression. "I imagine you're a bit surprised." "Renee is one of our most dynamic Resistance members," Liam said.
Da'an understood. If he turned Renee Palmer in...the torture she would undergo...she'd be bound to talk...and the Resistance...Humans...Liam's beliefs and all that he loved... placed in his hands.
And on top of that there was already Liam himself, Verdyana, and Augur.
Da'an knew that Liam knew that he would probably tell Zo'or. That he would try to save his race. The arguments they had had recently weren't going to help either.
And yet Liam was risking everything. For the sake of their friendship. He was, Da'an realized with a strange calm, forgiving him. Forgiving any sin he had done against him.
Perhaps he should forgive as well. He brought himself back to the present. He met Renee Palmer's eyes, and then Liam's.
"Your secret," he said with conviction, "is also safe with me." Liam smiled, his green-blue eyes dancing. "Alright then. Here's what we have to do..."
****
Everything had gone well. At least, Da'an made it appear that way.
But Liana had heard the ring of truth in the Taelon's words. He would not betray them...at least not yet.
She took one last peek inside, keeping her head low. Renee, Kincaid, and Da'an were engaged in deep conversation, smoothing wrinkles out of their plan.
None of them noticed the girl who quietly strode away.
****
Da'an went over the plans again and again in his mind. Liam and Renee Palmer were doing so as well, making offhand comments here and there. "Remember Da'an, you gotta make it look REAL." "I do not think there will be any difficulty in projecting a weak appearance," he said painfully. Energy. He needed energy.
"Da'an, are you alright?" Liam asked, his brow furrowing with concern. "I am well...just feel...tired..."
The world went black.
****
"Zo'or." he turned at the crisp voice of Agent Sandoval. "Yes?" "Zo'or," he couldn't help but notice the usually pristine man's slightly rumpled appearance, "Major Kincaid is docking. He has Da'an with him." Zo'or instantly waved his hand and erased the data stream he had been viewing. He resisted the urge to dash out into the docking bay to see for himself. "Is Da'an...alive?"
"Yes Zo'or. But weak. On the verge of death."
On the verge of death. Whatever confusion of his emotions he had about his parent vanished momentarily. Going on for that many days without energy replenishing...."Get him to an energy shower. Immediately," he ordered, ignoring the slightly questioning look Sandoval gave him.
"Of course, Zo'or."
"And Agent Sandoval," the Human paused and looked over his shoulder, "Now that the Major has returned, arrange for Ms. Palmer to be brought to the Mothership."
"Yes Zo'or," his Implant said quickly.
Too quickly.
Zo'or nodded, masking his suddenly suspicious mood. He turned back around, hearing Sandoval's footsteps walk briskly from the chamber. He had to see Da'an, he thought. Make sure everything was alright....
****
Liam helped Sandoval and another Volunteer support a barely conscious Da'an and half-drag him over to his chambers. He gently placed the Taelon in his chair and reclined it until he was almost lying down. His hand lingered just barely on Da'an's cheek.
If Da'an could feel his hand, he wanted him to know he wasn't alone. He was watching out for him.
Liam looked up and caught Sandoval in a similar act of tenderness, the FBI agent's hand squeezing Da'an's arm reassuringly. He quickly averted his eyes, under the pretense of having seen nothing. Liam leaned over and activated the energy shower. A wave of relief and joy washed over him as he saw the glowing, life-giving particles converge on his friend's body.
"He'll be alright," Sandoval said, looking at Da'an's illuminated form, his voice somewhere between a statement and a question. "Yeah," Liam said. He gave the Taelon one more glance, then turned and stepped through the virtual glass.
He didn't hear Sandoval follow. Curiosity prompted him to look back. He saw his biological father rest his hand on Da'an's shoulder. Comforting him.
Like a friend.
****
Renee was puzzled-and more than a bit suspicious- about her sudden summons to the Mothership. The Volunteer who piloted the shuttle she was riding in said little.
Had something gone wrong? Was Liam or Da'an in trouble? Or worse?
There was a ripping sound as the shuttle exited ID space and the walls of the docking bay appeared around them. The Volunteer got up and waited for her to exit. Renee did so, walking calmly. She followed the Implant down a long, empty corridor, the living walls of the hallway cold and almost dead-like.
Suddenly, her guide snapped around and held his weapon on her. She stifled her gasp and raised her hands. "What the hell are you-" All around her, she heard the clicking of weapons being brought off of safety. It sounded like an explosion. Volunteers had appeared from adjoining corridors, and Renee had about twenty bazookas aimed at her. She would get fried if she so much as twitched.
"Okay. What the hell are you doing? What is going on?"
"Renee Palmer," she glanced up to see Sandoval walking towards her. He stopped a few feet away, "You are under arrest." She gazed past Sandoval's shoulder to see Liam. He had an indifferent yet slightly puzzled look on his face. But no alarm.
No worry.
Good. Otherwise he'd be under suspicion too. Renee could only imagine what strength Liam was putting into controlling his expression. And behind Liam, looking a little unsteady but much better, was Da'an, a look of sheer horror on his face.
Da'an hadn't told. Then who...?
A sinking feeling started in her stomach, like a lump of lead. She felt anger and shock and sadness all at once.
There was only one other person who would have and could have contacted the Taelons and revealed her Resistance ties. Only one other person who would benefit from it.
Liana.
