Pancake Night 12: Hawaiian Shirts And The Grand Canyon

by Seven


Disclaimer:  Earth: Final Conflict and its characters are copyrighted by Tribune Entertainment Company.  All rights reserved.



Notes from Author:      I thought you might want to know, the Liam-gets-trapped-in-straitjacket is based on an incident involving my uncle. LOL! The world's ugliest sunglasses involve a funny clip involving Liam Neeson and the filming of TPM.



**********



Agent Sandoval?"

"Yes, Da'an?" Sandoval asked, tamping down on the growing urge to drive into a ravine.

Da'an was staring at a series of huge signs along the road, amid the rocky Arizona terrain. "London is in Europe, correct?"

"Yes," Sandoval said hesitantly.

"According to these markers," Da'an said slowly, looking unusually perturbed. "London bridge is approximately seventeen miles from here."

"Can we go make it fall down?" Liam mumbled sleepily, face pressed against the window.

"No, we can't," Sandoval said unnecessarily, feeling his nerves starting to fray. "I'm not certain why, Da'an... you see, London bridge... uh..."

"Was stolen from the British after the War of 1812," Liam interjected, eyes closed. "We were retaliating against them. So we snuck into London, dismantled the bridge, and put it up in Arizona."

Da'an only looked confused. Zo'or looked completely baffled.

"It was falling down anyway," Sandoval replied lamely.

****

"Two thousand miles of carsickness misery," moaned Liam, slumping against Da'an's shoulder. The Taelon did not move, except for his eyes slowly moving to stare at his protector. "I'm baking like a meat pie in this thing."

"Liam, you once said you wanted to see the Grand Canyon," Sandoval said with saintly restraint. "Now you get the chance."

"We can't see the Grand Canyon."

"Give me one good reason why not."

"I, too, wish to see this formation that so many humans find fascinating," Zo'or interjected.

"I thought we were escaping from the Taelonists," Liam said incredulously. "And I didn't say we couldn't go, I said we couldn't see it."

"What's the difference?" Sandoval asked with growing dread, his grip on the steering wheel slowly become white-knuckled.

"I mean the reporter said that there's going to be fog over the Arizona area," Liam said, finally sitting up from Da'an's shoulder. He slowly bent toward the cup holder and sipped from a straw. "So the Grand Canyon is pretty much gonna be invisible behind the fog."

Sandoval thudded his head forward on the steering wheel. "Is there any catastrophe that hasn't happened yet?"

"Well, our brakes could fail and we could plunge to our doom in the Grand Canyon," Liam said cheerfully.

As Zo'or stared back at the young protector, smiling happily at him, Sandoval ran a hand through his normally-unmussed dark hair and sighed. "Thank you for giving me something to look forward to."

****

As the car ground to a halt in the forest-surrounded parking lot, Liam leaned forward, resting his chin on the front seat. Sandoval's hair and eyes were beginning to look a bit wild, and he had abandoned his tie somewhere in Idaho.

"Sandoval, we have to do something about Da'an and Zo'or," he commented.

"Like what?"

"Well," Liam said, sitting back with a mischievous grin. "Don't think I'm just being weird, but you're the only person present who looks halfway normal."

"What is your definition of 'normal'?" Zo'or asked frigidly.

"Oh, you know what I mean," Liam scoffed. He glanced Da'an over, then looked ruefully at his own orange-clad torso. Sandoval was now slumped forward on the wheel again, as if wanting to quietly vanish and never be heard from again. "Two Taelons, and a guy in a straitjacket. Do we look normal?"

"Compared to some groups on vacation, yes," Sandoval sighed, raising his head and popping the door open. "I'll be back in a few minutes with disguises."

"Get a jacket for me too," Liam called out as the door slammed shut.

****

"Oh, surely you jest," Liam moaned, eyes wide and staring at the articles which Sandoval had arrayed on the car seat.

Sandoval flushed. "They're the only ones I could find."

Carefully placed in front of the two staring Taelons and the gawking Liam were a pair of reddish-orange, flowered, short-sleeved Hawaiian shirts, a pair of large forest-green "I Yodeled Down The GRAND CANYON" caps, and yellow plastic sunglasses. Zo'or had actually pressed himself against the car door, in a disgusted effort to get away from the offending articles.

Liam stared down at the shirts. "Is there some sort of anti-taste law in effect?"

Sandoval sighed. "Usual tourist memorabilia."

"Well, Sandoval," Liam said as Da'an picked up one shirt and gingerly began to pull it over his torso. "Once again you're the only one who won't be arrested by the fashion police."

****

The Grand Canyon was huge, spanning as far as the eye could see. Unfortunately, Liam thought, it was also covered by thick gray mist. At least we can't get lost. Sandoval could find me, Zo'or, and Da'an just by glancing around.

The orange-wrapped Liam glanced at Da'an and Zo'or, who were wearing the shirts over their glittering, metallic jumpsuits, causing a near-fatal clash. The yellow sunglasses clashed with their pale skin and the shirts, and the huge caps clashed with everything else. "I feel downright sedate," Liam said out loud.

Zo'or managed to give Liam a scathing look through his shades, before starting down a path into the Grand Canyon, slipping a little on the stones as he followed Sandoval. The oddly-attired Da'an put one hand on Liam's hand to help his protector walk down the steep path.

"Da'an?" Liam whispered.

"Yes, Liam?"

"Do you realized that the disguise..."

"What?"

"This disguise only makes you look like a Taelon trying to disguise himself," Liam said almost apologetically.

Da'an sighed and used his free hand to pull off the glasses and hat. "I will remove the hat when we reach the bottom."

****

"If anyone ever shows me slides of their trip to the Grand Canyon," Liam moaned, slumping against a rock by the splashing river at the bottom of the huge crevasse, "I am going to get violent. I never want to come here again."

Sandoval was slumped next to him, eyes glazed. Zo'or and Da'an were standing nearby, Zo'or trying in vain to unbutton his shirt, and Da'an staring wide-eyed at the sky and river, seeming to reach outward and forever. "I have never seen a sight such as this," he breathed.

"Mrth," Liam moaned, not opening his eyes.

For a moment, Da'an simply watched the river. Then his blue eyes focused on a speck in the distance. "Liam?" he said worriedly.

"Mrmr?"

"I see something."

With a weary groan, Liam rolled over and got onto his knees, stumbling into a standing position and staring blearily over the river. His eyes went wide. "Kayaking Taelonists!"

TO BE CONTINUED