Pancake Night 2: Attack Of The Replicant

by Seven


Disclaimer:  Earth: Final Conflict and its characters are copyrighted by Tribune Entertainment Company.  All rights reserved.



Note from Author:  This is a little grimmer than "Pancake Night", but I tried to retain the humor.



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"What did Zo'or want?" Da'an asked as Liam reentered his office.

Liam shrugged. "It all seemed pretty useless to me. Jaridian energy signatures, not moving, might be a trick by the Resistance, blah blah blah. Chocolate?" He offered Da'an the partially-unwrapped Hershey bar. Da'an smiled and shook his head.

"Liam, I will need a diagnostic of all repairs necessary to the Embassy," Da'an began.

"Why?" Liam interrupted, popping a square of chocolate into his mouth.

"I need to present them to Zo'or to have the repairs approved."

Liam winced. "You mean you have to ask to fix your home and sanctum sanctorum?"

"Yes."

"Have you ever considered moving to a townhouse?" Liam asked. Da'an smiled and picked up a global. "I must also speak with you about the Volunteer program initates. Apparently some of them desire you as their new role model."

"Role model? Me?" Liam squeaked. "What do I do?"

Da'an smiled and raised a hand. "Nothing at all. Simply continue what you have done in the past."

"Okay." Liam sighed a little. "I have the feeling that you're withholding something from me, Da'an."

Da'an looked unhappy as he held out a folder to Liam. "And these forms require your signature. Study them well."

"Argggghh," Liam moaned as he picked up a pen.

****

Several hours later...

Liam tossed away the last of the forms and sank back in his chair, feeling emotionally drained. Da'an, in his chair in the center of the room, was watching old reruns of "Star Trek."

BZEEERRRP! Liam accidently tipped his chair back as his global shrilled insistantly at him. His legs were practically resting on his desk. After a few contortions, Liam got upright and whipped open his global. It was Sandoval. "Major! A Jaridian replicant is heading toward the Embassy."

"Well, we're dead," Liam said.

"Wait! The tracking array of the replicant is severely damaged; it's only coming to the Embassy because it's a Taelon building. You need to get Da'an to an inobtrusive location."

"Location, inobtrusive, right!" Liam slapped his global shut and ran to Da'an. "Come on, we're heading elsewhere?"

"To the Liberation headquarters?" Da'an asked as Liam helped him down and they began to jog out the door.

"You kidding? Doors might just barbecue us both this time."

Down outside the Embassy was a small red car, own unknown. Liam ran a small cylinder over the lock, and the passenger-side door popped open. Da'an looked at the car. "We are stealing it?"

"We're borrowing it, and if worse comes to worse, I'll tie up the owner." Liam unlocked the driver's door and hotwired the car. It whirred to life and sped down the street, slightly over the speed limit.

****

"I have part of it decoded," Augur said to Doors. "But it's rather insignificant. All it says is 'To: Zo'or. From: Da'an.'"

Doors uttered a wail of pleasure. He could die happy now.

****

"Liam, please be careful," Da'an urged nervously. Liam had alread winged a cat and several low-flying birds, and half a dozen insects had met messy deaths on the windshield. "This is an unwise driving technique."

"That's not the worst of it," Liam announced thickly, hands gripping the windshield tightly.

"What?"

"I think I'm getting carsick." Liam's jaw worked a little. Da'an stared straight ahead, determined not to look at Liam until the threat was over.

Then he started forward in his seat. "I see a cat," Da'an announced.

"Where?"

"In front of us."

"I don't see it!"

Suddenly there was a thudding noise, and a huge black cat was perched on the windshield, giving Liam the evil eye. "Oh," he muttered. "That cat. How the heck am I supposed to drive with that thing on top?!"

"You must do the best you can," Da'an replied.

As if by command, the cat lunged sideways across the windshield, blocking Liam's vision. Liam grabbed Da'an's arm and placed it on the wheel. "Just keep us steady." Then he rolled down the window and half-climbed out. He grabbed for the cat's neck, but accidently caught its tail instead. It whirled around and slashed at Liam's hand, then leaped off the moving vehicle.

Liam slithered back inside, where Da'an was still sprawled across the seats and restrained by his seatbelt, hands gripping the steering wheel for dear life. Liam took the wheel and asked, "Do you want to do this in the future?"

Da'an only gave him a look.

****

Liam parked the car in front of a nice apartment building, and he managed to override the lock on the front door. Halfway up the stairs to their destination, Da'an asked, "Liam, where are we going?"

"Lili's place. Her apartment is 47."

"47 years old?"

"Number 47."

They arrived at 47, and Liam banged on the door. Then he kicked it. No response. He took a deep breath. "LILI!"

"Shut up out there!" yelled a woman's voice from down the hall. "Us mortals are trying to sleep!"

47's door opened, and Lili appeared. She was wearing a rumpled, oversized T-shirt that went to her knees, and from the look of her slitted eyes, Liam guessed that she had been asleep. "Liam, what time is it?" she slurred.

Liam checked his wristwatch. "Five minutes after midnight."

Lili groaned and leaned against the doorframe. "Why have you disturbed me at this ungodly hour?" she asked.

Liam pointed back the way he and Da'an had come. "The replicant, it-"

"Replicant, yeah. I have to go with Sandoval in the morning; lucky devil, he hardly needs to sleep." Lili yawned and rubbed her eyes. "Therefore, if I am to be functional for the mission tomorrow, I need sleep. Good night, Liam." She began to close the door, but Liam jammed his foot in the crack. Lili sighed and opened it. "You'd make one heckuva door-to-door evangelist."

Liam pointed at Da'an. "Lili, we need your help."

"Hi," Lili said to Da'an. "And just how might you need that?" she asked Liam.

"We need to borrow your apartment. The replicant is after Da'an, but it can't get him unless he's in a Taelon structure."

Lili looked at Liam as if he had lost his mind.

"Never mind," Liam finished. "Anyway, can we stay at your house until the replicant is destroyed?"

Lili uttered a long-suffering sigh. "All right. Da'an, you can have the guest bedroom. Liam," she tossed a blanket at him, "you sleep on the couch."

Liam glanced at the couch as if it were a dead fish. "I suppose I was hoping to spend the night in an actual bed."

"That remains an impossible dream," Lili said, ushing Da'an into the guest bedroom and closing the door. Then she crossed the hall and slipped into her own. Liam heard the lock clicking into place. "But... Taelons don't sleep!" he yelled.

****

A couple hours later...

Liam slipped from his semi-cozy nest on Lili's leather sofa and crept into the kitchen. Perhaps it was all the excitement, but he was hungry. He wasn't certain why.

As he reached for the light switch, Liam accidently knocked over a potted plant. He dove down to the floor and grabbed it before it shattered. He decided to remain in darkness. He groped his way through the kitchen and finally found the fridge. As he opened it, a wide smile spread across his face. "All right!" he whispered. "Pancakes!"

****

The next morning, Lili awoke to angry shouts and clanging from Da'an's room. She rushed down the hall and opened the door, only to find Da'an happily sitting on the bed, TV on. The Taelon smiled at her. "Good morning, Captain."

Lili made her way around. "'Lord of the Rings'?"

"I find its mythos quite intriguing." Da'an hit the STOP button. Nothing happened. He pushed it again. Still nothing. Lili commented, "I forgot to put batteries in yesterday."

Liam walked in, slumped forward, shirt off. "Are you all right, Liam?" Lili asked.

Liam nodded, wincing. "It's my back. I slept wrong last night and now my back is locked."

Lili moved behind him and slammed her fist against his back. Liam stumbled forward and groaned. "Better?" Lili asked.

Liam nodded painfully. "NOW I'm not all right. Could you call a medivac team?"

WHUNK.

The three of them looked toward the door. Lili dashed out in her nightgown and slippers. "It's the front door," she announced. "I'll open it, see who it is."

"No!" Liam shouted. "If they're human, they'll ring the doorbell!"

Lili glanced at Liam strangely as he and Da'an followed her. WHUNK. This time it was accompanied by a sound of splintering wood.

"Lili," Liam said slowly, backing Da'an to the large sliding glass windows that separated Lili's balcony from her living room. "Get away from the door."

A huge armored fist broke through. Lili jumped back and away. Liam grabbed Da'an and threw both of them from the window.