Pancake Night 4: First Class

by Seven


Disclaimer:  Earth: Final Conflict and its characters are copyrighted by Tribune Entertainment Company.  All rights reserved.



Note from Author:      With all the heavy stuff I've been writing recently, I thought a trip back to Pancake Night would be good. Takes place between "Atavus" and "Stitch In Time" (and then I spend some time working on my pride and joy)



**********



Liam squinted doubtfully at the goo in the frying pan. "Lili, it's getting dry around the edges," he announced.

Lili Marquette paused from filing her nails. "Then flip it."

"It won't flip."

"Then it needs more time," Lili said, scrutinizing her hand.

Liam shrugged and continued to stare at the frying pan. Augur emerged from the back room, looking miserable. Lili looked up at the hacker. "What's with you?" she asked.

Augur sank down next to her, large dark eyes welling up with tears. "You took her, Lili. We've been together so long and now she's gone..."

"Your girlfriend?" Liam asked, jiggling the frying pan on the burner.

"Betsey," moaned Augur. "She's gone." He pulled out a bright red handkerchief and dabbed at his eyes. Lili groaned. "Betsey's his cable box, and I think you can survive for three days without Betsey," she said accusingly.

"Lili, if there's smoke coming from the edges, what does that mean?" Liam asked tensely.

"It means the pancakes are burning. FLIP THEM."

"I can't!" Liam began to chip at the pancakes with a spatula, but they didn't move. Lili walked over and turned off the stove, then took the frying pan and held it upside down. The pancakes remained welded to it. "I've never seen anything like it," she mused. "The store said that it was stick-free..."

"Lili, I'm hungry," Liam announced. "Can we just go out for Chinese?"

"Do we have a choice?" Augur asked. "Smack me with Mexican!"

"I'll smack you, period," Lili said, poking her finger at the burned mass on the pan. "Augur, do you have any pans?"

"No."

"Then we'll have to starve," Lili announced, tossing the pan down. "Unless you feel like celery." She pulled out a plastic bag and opened it. Liam grimaced, reached inside to grasp a stalk, and began to munch on it morosely.

His global chirped. Liam pulled it out and asked, "Sandoval, what gives?"

Sandoval looked briefly surprised, but only replied, "Da'an needs you to pick him up on the mothership."

"Why?" Liam asked, taking another bite of celery.

"Because his pilot just vanished. Family business," Sandoval grimaced a little, "so he needs you to pick him up."

Liam shrugged. "After I eat, okay?"

"Now!"

"Now, okay," Liam said, putting down his celery and going toward the door.

****

Da'an tried very hard to ignore the huge lipstick smear on Liam's lips, chin and cheek as the two walked to the shuttle. Liam was aware of it, apparently, and was aware that Da'an knew it. He began to self-consciously wipe at his face, only smearing it further. "Uh, Da'an?"

"Yes, Liam?"

"You're probably wondering why I look like this."

"That thought had crossed my mind."

"Well, you know that blond Volunteer, Maryann?" Liam asked, rubbing at his lips. Da'an nodded, and the young man continued, "Well, she has this monster crush on me, and she sort of pinned me against the wall in the corridor and..." He gestured at his face.

Da'an smiled a little. "That is one experience that I fortunately have never had to go through."

"Be thankful," Liam said, giving up on his face.

There was a brief pause, and Da'an commented, "I will be required in Southest Asia tomorrow evening."

"Will you be taking the portal?" Liam asked.

"No, the Washington portal is closed down for repairs and the one in my office was destroyed, and my shuttle will be needed for one of Zo'or's projects," Da'an stated. "Therefore, we will need an alternate mode of transportation."

Liam stopped and stared at Da'an. "What kind?"

****

"A whole jet?" Lili asked incredulously, staring out the airport window at the plane outside. "Has Da'an lost his marbles?"

"I don't think he has any marbles, but I think he's curious about the plane," Liam said, looking off to the side. "That's the pilot he's talking to now."

"So who else is on this flight?"

"Sandoval, because Zo'or will be going ahead of us, you, me, Da'an, and hopefully the pilot." Liam checked his watch. "Seven minutes, we get first class."

"Is the food edible?" Lili asked.

****

As Liam, Da'an, Sandoval and Lili sat in the spacious, fuzzy seats, the rather bored-sounding voice of the pilot piped through, "International Airlines welcomes you aboard one of our best jet planes."

"Translation," Lili whispered over the back of her seat to Liam, "IA only cares that we're paying them."

Sandoval, wearing headphones and listening to music, did not hear her, but Liam snickered and Da'an smiled. The pilot continued, "We are devoted to your needs and pleasures as the people who keep us flying. So sit back and enjoy the flight."

"Translation," Lili whispered with a grin, "They will feed us linoleum as long as we pay them, so sit back and don't complain when we hit a cow at two miles up."

Liam giggled helplessly and covered his face with the airsickness bag, while Da'an smiled and looked down to contain his amusement. Across the aisle, Sandoval pulled the headphones off and watched Liam snicker, then shrugged and began listening to the music again.

****

Sandoval was now asleep, snoring slightly, and Lili was hesitantly chewing on a bite of strogonoff. She had been chewing, Liam estimated, for almost twelve minutes now, and from her expression, she was getting a little panicked. Da'an, next to Liam by the window, was reading a magazine. Liam peered over Da'an's shoulder and saw the huge words: ALIEN CONTACT MADE! "They oughta change the magazines more often," he muttered, getting up.

As he passed the increasingly desperate Lili, he stopped and asked, "Lili, is it true that airplane toilets can yank out your intestines?"

Lili looked at him strangely, and shook her head. "Who tolf you that?" she asked.

"Augur."

"Figgurf," Lli mumbled, starting to chew again.

****

WHUMP! The jolt nearly knocked Lili out of her seat and into the aisle, while the unconscious Sandoval took a nasty spill. Quickly she grabbed her airsickness bag and spat the strogonoff into it, then gagged, "What happened?"

"Larry, what the %&*# is that?" yelled the copilot.

"I don't know!" the pilot retorted. "Looks like a big metal spider!"

Liam staggered out of the bathroom, a nasty bruise starting on his head. "We hit a cow two miles up?" he asked dazedly.

"No," Lili said, stepping over the prone Sandoval, who was trying to get the complimentary headset untangled from his hands. She peered out the window. "Oh my gosh. It's a Jaridian spider!"

"A what?" Liam asked, helping Sandoval to his feet.

"It looks like a probe, but it has these big legs sticking out," Lili said, horrified. "Ohmigosh, it's heading for us!"

"There's only one way to escape it," Sandoval announced, heading for the back. A moment later, he emerged with several parachutes.

"Oh man," Liam moaned, strapping on his parachute.