Pancake Night 6: Run Runaway

by Seven


Disclaimer:  Earth: Final Conflict and its characters are copyrighted by Tribune Entertainment Company.  All rights reserved.



Note from Author:   Anyway, the title for this one is from a song I love, "Run Runaway" by Great Big Sea (anyone who has heard of this group will see that I have a thing about Celtic rock!). It's not as humorous as I'd like, but....



**********



Liam winced as he saw the inhabitants of the small boat that the liner sent out. The woman was wearing a tangle of plastic leis and the man was wearing a mulitcolored, mainly orange shirt than even Augur would not wear. "Howdy!" the man shouted, waving.

Lil began to wade toward the boat. "Howdy?" she whispered to Liam, making a face.

Liam shrugged and followed her, holding onto Da'an's arm. Sandoval tagged behind them, clearly hating the idea of going into the water and then into the boat, but had no choice.

****

The liner was very large, and the three humans looked soggy, rumpled, and dirty amid the impeccable crew and vacationers, who looked at them like they were plague carriers. Da'an only looked soggy, sitting forlornly on a beach chair. Liam, on the other hand, was trying to talk to the captain, who evidently did not speak English.

"Plane!" Liam shouted, waving his arms. "Jaridian probe... long legs..."

The captain stared at him as if he had lost his mind, then replied in some language that sounded a little like Spanish and walked away. Liam heard a snicker and glanced at Sandoval. "What's so funny? You understood him?"

"Yes. He was saying that if you acted any crazier, he would lock you up," Sandoval said, trying not to smile.

Liam sighed. "Lili, please measure me for a white, long-sleeved jacket while we wait for our cabins."

Lili shrugged. "You can measure yourself. I'm starving."

Liam sighed and scratched his head. "I want a nice, long, hot shower," he said almost dreamily. "Something that can get the salt and sand out of my hair and eyes. But I'll settle for a ham sandwich."

"You dream big," Lili teased, heading toward the kitchens with Liam behind her.

****

"This is an outrage!" the cook was bellowing when they arrived. The fat, moustachioed man was banging a huge pan against the oven and gesturing wildly at the overturned tables and spilled food in the cafeteria. "The thing, the giant spider, it comes in and destroys my masterpieces!"

"Giant spider?" Liam asked. "Was it green?"

"No, it was pink with white stripes! OF COURSE IT WAS GREEN, IMBECILE!" the cook yelled as if it were obvious what color the spider-probe would be. "Ran through here and destroyed my food, my art! Ran away covered in spaghetti, and chocolate eclairs stuck on the ends of its legs! A tragedy!"

Lili snickered, and the cook raised his frying pan, furious. Liam grabbed Lili by the arm and dragged her out. "This only happened a minute ago, so Da'an is in danger!"

"How did it get aboard?" Lili asked as Liam broke into a run.

"Does it matter? It's here, and if we don't destroy it, I'll be out of a job!"

****

Sandoval heard the spider probe galloping unsteadily down the corridor before he saw it. Da'an jumped up and stared around fearfully as Sandoval picked up a deck chair. "Agent Sandoval," he said quietly. "Do they allow pets on these cruises?"

"Just tiny yipping dogs," Sandoval replied tensely.

The probe sprang down from the top of a cabin, throwing Sandoval to the deck. The deck chair flew out of his hands, and before he passed out he wondered why he was being pounded to death with a doughnut at the end of a spidery leg...

****

Liam found a petrified Da'an backing away from the probe, which approached him slowly. Not a deliberate slowness, but one that insinuated that it was unsteady. Sandoval was sprawled on the deck, unconscious, with a chocolate smear across his face. "Hey!" Liam yelled.

The probe started to turn around, and Liam kicked it halfway over the railing. He watched it curl its legs around the flagpole, then grabbed Da'an and ran. The Taelon stumbled after him, trying to keep up. "Where can we go?" Da'an gasped.

"We can keep going. That probe isn't very fast, so if we can keep running, we'll be okay. What happened to Sandoval?"

"The probe 'jumped' him. Where is Captain Marquette?"

Liam groaned. "Women's room."

****

The probe eased itself down a flight of dark stairs, into a small dark room that served for containing cargo. The Taelon was huddled in a heap in the corner, staring at the probe. The probe stumbled and regained its balance as it approached the Taelon...

WHAM! A huge ax slashed through the Jaridian armor and sliced the probe in half. Its legs jittered a little, then dropped to the floor, useless.

Da'an got up from his crouch in the corner, cautiously. Liam cradled the fire ax against his chest. "Somewhat crude, but strong and effective... I might just keep this thing!"

Lili came running down the stairs, dragging a half-conscious Sandoval with her. "Liam, you killed it?"

"Was it ever technically alive?" Liam asked. "And the answer is yes, I cannot tell a lie, I killed

it with my lit-"

"Don't even say it," Lili threatened.

"Major," Sandoval said slowly, wiping some of the chocolate from his disheveled face. "May I borrow that ax? I have a... personal score to settle."

Liam looked confused, but handed over the ax. Sandoval ran his thumb over the edge, testing it, then began to savagely hack at the probe's remains. Da'an's face was crossed by a smile as Liam and Lili snickered. Finally, Sandoval threw down the ax and said, "My skrill is hungry." Lili and Da'an followed him as he went up the steps.

"You skrill may not like the cook," Liam warned, following the three others.