Three Humans, A Taelon And A Baby

by Seven


Disclaimer:  Earth: Final Conflict and its characters are copyrighted by Tribune Entertainment Company.  All rights reserved.



Note from Author:      Humorous Seven is BACK!



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Da'an had been listening to the high-pitched, chuckly cries of a human baby for the past ten minutes. He decided to go find the child and make sure he was not hurt.

As he exited his office, he almost tripped over a small plastic container. Inside was a small human infant, wrapped in a bright blue blanket. Dark, tearful eyes stared at Da'an, half in fear, half in curiosity.

Da'an knelt down beside the child with a smile, and awkwardly picked him up. "There, there," he murmured. The baby uttered a chuckly giggle and squeezed Da'an's finger.

----

"Liam," Da'an said to his global, balancing the baby in his lap. "You were due an hour ago. Why have you not come?"

Liam shrugged. "There's been a bit of a fiasco at Augur's. One of the Canadian Resistance members used the bathroom and burst one of the pipes. I'm helping Augur save four thousand bucks worth of carpeting."

"I see," Da'an said with a smile, glancing at the half-sleeping baby in his lap. "I have someone I wish you to meet."

----

Half an hour later, Liam entered, his coat drenched and smeared with dishwashing soap. "Oh, you would not BELIEVE what that sort of thing does to a guy!" he exclaimed. "It's like trying to dam Niagra Falls with a bunch of toothpicks."

He stopped and stared as he saw Da'an cradling the baby. "Is that a baby?" he asked.

Da'an smiled lovingly down at the child. "Yes. He was apparently abandoned here."

Liam walked over and stuck his finger towards the infant. The child grasped his finger and began to suck on it. "Aw," he muttered. "Now who'd want to leave a wonderful little guy like yoooous?" he warbled in baby talk.

Da'an smiled, then became serious. "I am not certain how to proceed now, Liam. I do not think that I can care for a human child adequately."

Liam shook his head. "You'd be a great parent."

"I have had little experience with Taelon children, and none with human infants," Da'an said. "Could he be adopted by a foster family?"

"Undoubtedly," Liam said. "I'll make the call."

A few minutes later, Liam put away his global and walked back to Da'an. "They're putting us on hold for a couple of days," he said irritably. "Apparently their computer system is backing up."

"Like the plumbing?" Da'an asked.

"Exactly, only this is more irritating," Liam said, crossing his eyes. The baby giggled. "Da'an... do you know anything about babies?"

"Virtually nothing. Do you?"

"No, I never really had to deal with any," Liam said, interlocking his fingers and waggling them at the baby. "How about Lili? She might know something about babies."

"Please ask her," Da'an said, hefting the baby so that the child could look over his shoulder.

Liam pulled out his global and dialed Lili's number. After a moment, she answered. "Yeah, Liam?"

"Lili, how much do you know about babies?" Liam asked.

"They're creatures that aren't adult yet," Lili replied. "Why do you ask?"

"Da'an wants advice on his baby."

There was a long pause. Liam squinted at the darkened screen. "Lili? Lili, are you there?"

"I'm here," a thin voice replied. "Liam, Da'an doesn't have a baby."

"He does now," Liam said coolly.

"But all the Taelons are sterile!" Lili protested.

"Well, technically the little guy isn't HIS baby, but Da'an found him, abandoned."

Lili looked somewhat relieved, but still somewhat offput. "Liam, I know very..."

A shrill wail interrupted Lili. Liam glanced off to the side, then grimaced. "Gotta go! Just get here as soon as possible."

"Liam, no wait-"

He slapped the global shut and ran back to Da'an. The baby was crying, wriggling in Da'an's arms. The Taelon diplomat looked both desperate and fascinated. Liam held out his arms. "Here, let me try!" he said. Da'an handed the baby to Liam, and Liam began to pace back and forth, the baby slumped over his shoulder, still sobbing.

"Hush little baby," he sang softly, patting the baby's back. "Don't say a word-"

There was a burp, and then a sound like *blorp*. Liam glanced at the back of his jacket and moaned. "Euw. Da'an, be sweet and pass me something disposable."

Da'an handed Liam a small canister of alcohol wipes. Liam scrubbed at his jacket for a moment, then gave it up as a lost cause. "That wasn't very nice for your Uncle Liam, was it?" he chortled to the baby. "Nooooo, it wasn't!"

Then he glanced at Da'an skeptically. "I'm Uncle Liam, but do you count as an auntie or an uncle?"

"How about 'godparent'?" Da'an asked.

----

Lili came into Da'an's office and found Liam dandling the baby across his knees while Da'an watched. "So that's the little darling, huh?" she asked, smiling wide at the baby.

"Uh-huh," Liam replied, as Lili knelt down to stare into the baby's eyes. "How can you help us?"

"I can't," cooed Lili, puckering up her lips at the child.

"What?" Liam asked incredulously. "I thought women had that programmed into them!"

"We want to cuddle and squeeze babies, yes... yes we do!" Lili said, patting the child's head. "But that doesn't mean I know how to change a diaper."

"Great," Liam groaned.

"But I know of someone who caaaaan," Lili continued, making the Vulcan hand sign at the giggling child.

"Who?" Da'an asked.

"Julia," Lili replied. "She has some experience with babies."

----

Julia answered her global immediately. "Hi, Liam. What's up?"

"Da'an's baby," Liam said, slurring his words together so that she couldn't interrupt him. "Da'an found an abandoned baby, but he asked for my help, and I asked for Lili's, and she doesn't know anything about babies. She said you have extensive babysitting expertise."

"I know how to change, feed, and burp a baby. That extensive enough?"

"More than enough."

"I'll be at the Embassy in no time," Julia said, then shut her global. Then she sighed. "Blind leading the blind leading the blind!" she muttered.

----

The first words that Da'an ever heard from Julia was a horrified shriek. "You're holding him wrong!" Julia yelled, running toward Da'an and repositioning his arms. "Support the head! That's it."

"He's really little," Liam commented, looking at the baby. "Is he a normal size?"

"Yes," Julia said.

"Are you certain?" Da'an asked worriedly.

"Well, this little guy looks to be all of nine or ten months, so he's of acceptable size."

"And with sufficient lung capacity, as Auntie Lili will testify," Liam said, rubbing his ear.

"Right-o, Uncle Liam," Lili agreed.

----

A few hours later, Liam woke up. Da'an was gone, the baby was gone, Lili was gone. Julia was snoring nearby in a rolling chair. Liam was ready to snooze off again when a faint rapping sound caught his attention.

He rose, went over to the door, and was surprised when it did not open. He waved his hand. Nothing. He pressed his hands against it, activated his shakarava. They blossomed, and the doors sprang open as if he were red-hot.

Da'an and Lili, both looking worried. "Liam," Da'an said. "The child somehow crawled into the ventilation system."

"The vents?" Julia mumbled, coming over to Liam. "So why are all the lights out?"

Lili shrugged. "That's the problem. We think he disconnected the power somehow. Until it comes back on, we're stuck."

"Could we find him using the vents?" Liam asked. "If all the doors are sealed, he couldn't have gone far."

Da'an shook his head. "The vents are too small for you, Liam."

"What about me?" Julia asked. "I'm pretty small. Maybe I could get through the vents."

Da'an looked at her critically. "I believe you will suffice," he said with a smile. Julia dropped to her knees in front of the vent and pulled the cover off. "Into the hand of destiny!" she shouted, just before diving in.

----

Julia found that it was easier than she had thought to track the baby. She only had to follow the wailing. Her clothing kept snagging, and she had gotten stuck once or twice. How humiliating... the idea of being stuck inside the Embassy's ventiliation system.

She finally found the right vent, and pushed both hands against it. It popped off, and she slowly slid into the room. The baby was near an open power junction, sobbing. Dead, disconnected power cables were beside him. "Come to Auntie Julia," she growled between her teeth. She picked up the baby, put him firmly on her hip, and reconnected the cables. "This Embassy is a death-trap," she muttered.

The Embassy lit up like a Christmas tree. Julia grinned, and the baby giggled.

----

Two days later, the child was taken away by the adoption services. He began to cry when he was taken from Da'an and Liam, but they only smiled encouragingly and waved.

As the car moved out of sight, Da'an sighed. "It was very painful for me to let him go, Liam."

Liam nodded. "I know. It's hard to see the little guy being taken to his home."

Da'an smiled a little. "However, I have learned something about myself. I fear that parenting may be not to my taste, with the stress levels as they are."

Liam laughed.